I am an ass. But my ass is alive, and skinny. But it's back. I promise.

I really have no excuse. None. You see, I was crushed when work firewalled me from blogging there and then a few no post days turned into weeks. Then I felt bad. Real bad. I don't know what was wrong with me. It all just snowballed, and here we I am filled with shame and remorse. Pretty much like college, but I wake up knowing who the man next to me in bed is. I tried to get up early to blog, but I like to get my sleep on. Then I tried to blog after work, but that is when I workout like a mad woman. And then I couldn't even bring myself to look at my blog. Tonight I was looking on the internet when I said "Rit, you are being Ritarded! It's like Sean Bower all over again." Then my stomach hurt and I clicked on my blog and my hands are now typity type typing this.

Flash back to the seventh grade. I'm "dating" Sean Bower. I'm a good Catholic girl who is saving herself for marriage, so naturally kissing is out too. Sean and I had been together for a month and we were at the mall and he tried to kiss me. I ran away from him and from that day on avoided him like the plague. I wouldn't take his phone calls and finally I convinced my best friend Kelly to break up with him for me. We did it on three way so I could listen. It was bad. Real Bad. Flash forward. Sophmore year in high school. I am drunk at a party making out with some guy and I here "RIT! RitMeyer!" Yep, it's Sean. He proceeds to call me the biggest wussy bitch he has ever met, remarking how well my good girl path was going for me. He caused a huge scene and random make out guy looked at me all weird and my friends still make fun of me for that one. I promised never to avoid another situation again. Apparently I'm not good with promises.

I have missed all you bitches dearly! I fit working out back into my daily life, I can fit blogging back in there too. Cause really, it hasn't been the same without you all.

I"ve missed you. Glad you're back. Does this mean we can make out?

Well, considering that is the only reason I'm blogging again...Yes.

WOOO-HOOO! RIT is BACK! YAY! We have SO MISSED your wit, humor and all else around here! Please stay for a while, promise?

THANK YOU for blogging!

do I know you?

Tim - I think she's this girl that we used to hang out with a lot. I'm pretty sure it's Ritmeyer...and if it is, Rit - we'll get you a sponge bath, some clothes, and a cup of coffee. That will make it all better. Then you can sit down and tell us all about your time away. We're so glad you're okay, honey.

A shower would be nice.

You left out the end of the story, where you apologized to Sean and told him how sorry you were, and you ended up banging him on the hood of his '82 Pinto to make up for being such a prude back in the day. Since I went to high school with you, but didn't drink nearly as much as you did (or take as many pills), I am able to remember details like that that you've probably forgotten after your first stint in rehab.

Speaking of old times, we should get together and reminisce sometime soon! Call me!

It was an '82 Volvo, god Karla. I don't need people thinking I would do anything on a Pinto.

Welcome back!

I thought maybe you were pregnant. With Tim's baby. The guy's like a sperm factory.

Glad you're back.

See that police helicopter that's been circling your house? Could you just give them a wave and tell them you're ok? They'll leave then, I promise.

Ritsy, dear, you say you're back but you haven't gotten back into your previous swing of blogging lots so I'm tagging you because I think you must be in need of some blogging material. Don't be mad, blame Pixie, she said she was bored. See my blog for details.

hi rit! welcome back. i'd given up on you completely. check your statcounter, i had left the scene. glad you're back home where you belong!! now if i could just get back here too...