TinaPopo did this post last week and I have been storing it in the "no idea what to freaking blog about" bank since. Well, I'm busy and thoughtless today so here we go.

Sitemeter rocks. You can see who is on your blog, but most importantly you can find out how people come to find you. So now I give you the top Ten searches that land unsuspecting web searchers here.

10. Cute Cool Thoughts- I don't know exactly what this person was looking for but cute only describes the way I look, not my overall being. A Paris Hilton post and a dig on AC Slater brought you here. Oops.

9. coke fridge codes fälschen- I'm German! I must love The Hoff. Seriously, I was the number one search result for this one. Whatever.

8. monty python flesh wound- Of this I may be most proud. Number 2 for search result!! ::tears well in eyes::

7. White trash image- I want to thank Britney & KFed for this one. The smokes and cheetos are on the way.

6. PoPo keep on moving- Was this from one of your hobos?

5. Gagged- Um, please don't come back to my blog. I found your search offensive.

4. Starr Jones Husband Gay- I am your second stop for information on Al Reynold's beard.

3. How to tell if your Husband is Gay- I have seen more searches on this than I care to say. Ok, like 50. Man Starr Jones must be using the internet alot.

1. Brody Jenner- I seriously get 10 searches a day for this asshat. What the hell? I find this frightening. (I can't click on the link, work says it is not work related.)

I am totally aware that there is no #2. Your searches fall off and I know that deer hunting was a big search result for awhile. Oh well.

Good morning friends. Well, really I should say good morning readers. Some of you I may consider friends, the others lurk and I don't even know who you are. I know you want to be my friend though, cause I'm super cool.

Friday-I got my hair cut. Luke and I went out to dinner and rented 3 movies. The Blockbuster kid tried to sell us their rewards program. We told him we usually don't rent many movies and wouldn't be interested. He typed stuff on his computor and then said that we have rented 8 movies this month. I told him that during the winter months we may order lots of movies, but in the summer we never do, so again no thanks. He said that we would have already been well on our way to recouping the money it takes to join the program. Luke said "No" and we both stared at him until he finished checking us out and he gave us our movies.

Saturday-Luke informed me that he doesn't like being refered to as Mr. Rit a la Lulu's J. He thinks it would have one assume that he is my bitch. Which he is not. So I asked him what he wanted to be called since I refuse to type Skywalker anymore and he told me to make something up. I have chosen Luke. Because that is his name.

I bought the book for our book club, but didn't read any of it. It was a rainy day, so I watched TV and a few movies. We went to a friend's house and ate homemade pizza and played games. Well, I watched everone eat homemade pizza after I had my one sliver of pizza. I sat and munched on carrot sticks while they ate cookies, brownies, chips and pizza. Then we played taboo and I yelled at Luke for not flipping his card in a way that used optimum speed. I blame it on the carrot sticks. And the fact that I am hungry.

Sunday-It was a beautiful day, so I took a super long walk. I can't run yet, which I thought about while I was zipping through neighborhoods. Last year at this time I ran 6 miles 3-4 times a week. Now I am speed walking the neighborhood like a soccer mom. Then I came home and started reading the book club book. It's really good so far.

Wow, I'm boring.

He's not just for German's and Popo anymore. Cause he's hooked on a feeling and please god tell me he is high on something more than believing. This is fantabulous. Oh, and don't blame me for the picture of The Hoff. Blame Perez Hilton. And the German's. Maybe Kit too.

We are nothing if not supporters of literacy and poop jokes. TinaPopo, BabyJewels, Lulu, Tim, Hizzle, Mad Ethel and myself have started a blog book club. If you are interested in reading things possibly about poop, please check it out. We are edumacated and stuff.

Or she will look at you like this. James Frey, the writer of A Million Little Pieces, was on her show. I'm not an Oprah fan, but she was pissed at this asshole and it was awesome. Gawker gave a live blog of the show. It was great. I am glad that she did the responsible thing and showed her viewers that this guy is a fraud.

I hope people suffering from addictions will find help and peace from honest recoveries.

This is going to be quick and random. Much like most of my relationships.

* I am really busy at work today, yet I found myself staring out the window wondering if the fact that it is 55 degrees in the midwest in January really means that there is something to all this global warming crap. Then I thought about whether Angelina's belly tatoos are going to look messed up when her tummy goes back to normal size.

*My mom called at lunch and I told her that after last night's and this morning's conversations, I will be reading self help books and joining weight watchers online instead of accompaning she and Lolo to look at flowers this evening. She apparently forgot how to speak sarcasm and exclaimed "They have weight watchers online now? Wow, I'm going to check that out now." I told her that you have to be at least 5 pounds over the medical communities definition of your ideal weight so she is SOL. I hate my mom right now.

*I joined weight watchers online and will be billing my mother along with the self help books I will purchase.

*Why DO we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

*When will Britney Spears get a clue?

*Poop!

Oh, and apparently I'm from st louis and my mom is from Fargo.

Jason does Sundance. My only question is how he was let on the plane? Maybe he was sober for the flight, because he certainly isn't for this picture. The dog definately helps with the manly image. Although not as much as his mani & probable pedi.

I went over to my parent's house last night to hang out with my mom and my little sis Lolo. My Dad was out of town on business, so I didn't have to hear any shit about eating his food or how is Mr. Rit going to have dinner if I'm not there to cook it. We discussed all the important things. The bridesmaid dresses, how she just finished registering, and how weird the whole Angelina & Brad thing is. My mom just can't get over the whole Billy Bob blood vile thing, well me neither. That's just plain weird.

So we are sitting on the couch, gabbing and watching E! News Daily, when the following conversation takes place:

Rit: Hey mom, I was wondering something. When dad goes out of town, do you miss him?

Mom: No, not really.

Lolo: Gasp and says "Mom!"

Rit: I figured. I mean, you guys have been married for 33 years. Do you like it when he comes back?

Mom: Sure. But it really is nice to have the down time. Or alone time. I get to watch The Bachlor on the big TV.

Lolo: Larger gasp "Mom..." This is the sibling that used to cry everytime our parents had a fight because she thought that they were going to get a divorce.

Rit: Yeah, I still miss Mr. Rit when he goes out of town. I'm so excited before he goes, but by day two I start missing him. Then he comes home and I want total control of the big TV back. Project Runway sucks on the 21 incher.

Mom: I felt the same way until we had kids. Once you have kids any alone time you get is precious. And that means alone time from EVERYONE.

Lolo: I miss fiance. That's not going to happen.

Rit: Yeah, you aren't married yet. Wait until you have the "What the hell did I do" moment.

Mom: Oh, that's fun. I cried for 3 days and asked my Dad if I could move back home. Thank god you waited until you were 27 to get married. No one should do that at 20.

Lolo: eyes huge "what are you guys talking about?" fear griping her voice.

Rit: Karen and I were just talking about it. She just had hers. See, you date and it's great. Everyone is nice, pleasant, you're in loooovvve. He gives you a ring. Then your parents spend a ton of money and you are told you are beautiful all day long. Then you wake up 8 months later, get out of bed, step on all his dirty clothes on your way downstairs to make coffee, remarking how you make it everyday, throw some cereal in a bowel, get a cup of coffee, you look over to see your husband scratching his balls asking if you made any damn coffee, and you wonder how he hid that he is a cranky asshole almost every morning until he drinks some coffee, you sit down you watch some tv and he turns on the news, you don't like the news and then it hits you...WHAT THE HELL DID I DO!?

Mom: It took you 8 months? Wow that's impressive.

Rit: I know, all my friends said so too.

Lolo: Um...

My mom and I laughed our asses off. She has no idea. I love freaking her out.

So yesterday I was slamed at work. I barely had enough time to post the Holmes belly stuff. So today was going to be calmer. So far, it is not.

I forgot to set my alarm and when I rolled over at 7:30 to look at the clock, I was up and running. I went into the bathroom and started running the water for my shower. I pull up the little thingy that makes the water come out of the shower head...and the thingy is in my hand. Huh? It does not go back in, I have broken the shower. I run a bath. I don't like that, it makes me feel dirty. I grab a big cup and use that to help facilitate cleaning.

I jump in my car at 8:10 and start to work. I pull out of my street and turn into massive traffic. I guess more people drive to work at 8 than at 7:20. Nice. So I listen to my Howard Stern substitute, Rover's Morning Glory. I deside I hate them. I hate each and every one of them. I call Mr. Rit and tell him what I have done. He laughs at me. I get to work an hour late. Work is busy. I just want to blog. Damn it! But, it really hasn't been that bad of a day...I got to eat a bagel this morning. I like bagels.

Titties to you!

This was on Pink is the New Blog. You can't click the image, click here to see the larger image. Yeah, something weird is going on.

Paris Hiton is a moron.

TMZ.com reports that this is what Paris said in a recent deposition. It was taken last November, in connection with a defamation lawsuit by Zeta Graff against Paris. Graff says Hilton planted lies about her in the New York Post's Page Six. The item says Graff went nuts on a club dance floor last July and attacked Hilton and tried to remove Hilton's multi-million dollar necklace before being tossed from the club. Here are the highlights:

*When she is asked what her companion from that night named Terry's last name is, Paris replied: "It is like a weird Greek name. Like Douglas."

*"I meet so many people. I don't even know some of my friends' names." said Paris

*When asked if she was aware that the article had been republished in various newspapers. Graff's lawyer, Paul Berra, asked, "Were there U.K. publications?" Hilton responded: "No... there is stuff in London." Hilton's lawyer, Larry Stein, jumped in: "London is a U.K. publication." Her retort: "Right. U.K. Whatever."

*Hilton swore she never saw a republication of the article: "I was in Europe the whole summer, and all there is is like French -- I didn't see anything because I wasn't in America."

*Paris testified on the night in question she did have a minor run-in with Graff, the former girlfriend of Hilton's then-boyfriend Paris Latsis. Hilton stated, "I just said to her... she is old and should stay at home with her child instead of being at nightclubs with young people. And just that -- I just - what else did I say? Just that she is not cute at all."

*Hilton, who was admonished several times to use the word "no" instead of "huh-uh," had problems explaining emails between herself and her then-publicist, Rob Shuter. Hilton claims she talked to Shuter after the incident and said: "I don't want this getting out..." But Shuter sent Hilton the article the day it ran with the note: "This is genius." Hilton responded, "You are amazing! I f..... love it!!! You are genius...." Her response is that Shuter is "a f...ing liar."

*When explaining her emails she says "Whatever I write in e-mail, it doesn't mean anything. It is just words I write."

*At one point she blurted out: "I'm so hungry."

*When asked if she was stalking this woman Paris says "I would never say stalking. I'm not a dude. Like, I think a girl can only stalk a guy. She can't really stalk another girl."

I am conflicted. I don't like the skank, but then she says stuff like this and I laugh for a whole hour. Thank you Paris, for being the dumbest person in the world.

Anyone who is anyone watched Saved By the Bell. If you didn't you are either A. too young or B. In serious need of some Jessie Spano.

I just saw on People.com that Zack Morris is having a baby. This peaked my interest into what is going on with our other friends at Bayside High. Here they are in descending cool order.

Kelly Kapowski has her own website. We all know she played a total bitch on 90210, but just what has our dear Kelly been up to lately? Well, looking over her site it seems she has started to direct and her little film has won some awards. Why am I totally surprised? Good for Kelly.

Lisa Turtle was hard. She has no website of her own, but I did learn that she is a Jehova Witness and had parts of Days of our Lives and The Bold and the Beautiful that she quit when she realised she would have to do sex scenes. This apparently goes against her beliefs. That is very un-Lisa Turtle like.

Naturally AC Slater has his own website. He's such a tool. He was on Pacific Blue and is now on ESPN Hollywood. He was also married to the Dorritos Girl, Aly Landry for like a minute. She found out he was a cheating bastard. Cool points way down AC. What would Jessie say?

Screech. I loved Screech. Well, pretty much until he did Saved By the Bell the new class. It was downhill from there. Celebrity Boxing against Horshack from Welcome Back Kotter, not the best idea. He is doing stand up comedy and I am very sad that his website, and this is right no joking, trustthedust.com is not yet up and running. Here is an interview with him in April of 2005. A few notables from the interview. Mike D from the Beasty Boys is not his brother and Neil Diamond is not there dad. (I have totally helped perpetuate that rumor since highschool) And he likes chess and computors and says it is hard for people to see him as anything but the nerd character he played. Um, ok.

Jessie Spano, thank you for teaching me not to get strung out on diet pills. You my friend are a talent. I think we all remember Showgirls. Nuff said.

Mr. Rit informed me that he is going out of town this weekend. It was pretty funny, because he said it as if I should already know that he was going to go to his friend's land and start burning stuff so they can build a cabin or something. Sometimes I still am amazed at how different we are. My people call contractors, he knows how to build things like houses with his own hands. That's hot.

Anywho, I was so excited! Another "It's like I'm single and can go anywhere I want and not have to call anyone to tell them where I am going" weekend. Friday is on! But after getting off the phone with everyone I know, I found out that they are all busy going out with their husbands or boyfriends on Saturday. My lone single friend who is a nurse is working. What's a girl to do? I'll probably end up stalking all your blogs while listening to Celene Dion's All by Myself, eating oreos, and giving myself a mani and a pedi. Maybe I'll go teepee my parent's house? Who wants to hang out. I just went to Costco so I've got the toliet paper.

Refer to this picture with the Audio Blog. Happy Audio Blog Wednesday!

No, not that Alan Jackson song that now I have in my head. Stupid Song stuck in my head. I saw this on Lulu's site and it was fun. And dirty.

Please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me. It can be anything you want - good or bad - BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE. When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON'T ACTUALLY remember about you! You've got free reign. Start your sentence "Remember when you and I...."

I know you guys are good at making stuff up.

Four Job You've Had

1. Sandwich engineer at Amighettis
2. Order Technition at Outback Steakhouse & Ruby Tuesday's
3. Party Condiment Salesperson
4. Wouldn't you like to know

Four Movies You Could Watch Over and Over:

1. The Wizard of Oz with Dark Side of the Moon playing...wait that's not much fun anymore
2. Dazed and Confused...still funny even without refering to #3.
3. History of the World
4. Every Monty Python Movie

Four Places You've Lived:

1. St. Louis, MO
2. Columbia, MO
3. Colorado Springs, CO
4. Delusion

Four TV Shows You Love To Watch:

1. Anything on MTV
2. Law and Order SV (aka Rape Show)
3. Law and Order CI (aka Weird Guy Dund Dund Show)
4. The Office
5. My Name is Earl (yeah, I get 5 kiss my ass)

Four Favorite Books:

1. Everybody Poops
2. Didn't we answer this question on our profile?
3. It seems redundant.
4. Click my profile.

Four Places You've Been on Vacation:

1. Destin, FL (if you are from St. Louis you also have a condo there)
2. Las Vegas, NV
3. Cancun, Mexico (so the pictures say)
4. A padded room

Four Websites You Visit Daily:
1. Here
2. Most of my links
3. Bankofamerica.com (I really can't stand not balancing my checkbook)
4. Every porn site in existence.

Four of Your Favorite Foods:

I just don't like peas.

Four Places You Would Rather Be Right Now:

1. Under Mr. Rit
2. On top of Mr. Rit
3. In a brokeback sandwich
4. Reading books to sick kids

Four Bloggers You Are Tagging:

After the last four I will tag:
1.Me
2.Me
3.Me
4. Tim (hahahahahahahahaha)

This is what Mr. Rit said as we were watching TV the other night and a preview for Brokeback Mountain came on. Yeah, I know. What to do, what to do. I want to see the movie, but I had resigned myself to seeing it with some girlfriends and not my husband. Now look at what the sweet lord dropped in my lap! But then something weird happened. Real weird. A little angel appeared on my shoulder. I thought that the little devil and I kicked her ass long ago, but there she stood and she wanted to be heard.

My angel started making her case. "Rit I know your small town husband has opened his mind more with the help your gay friends, especially Mark and the fact that he is in drag shows, but he has never gone to see them. You can't take him to see this movie expecting some great macho cowboy movie, only to discover it is a love story. Between two men. Hey, has he been living under a rock or something?" Me "Seriously, he must be. That reason alone should make it ok for me to not tell him and go see the movie in an hour." My angel smurks, "Rit, come on. Be nice." I respond, "Man, this sucks. This is so perfect. He has no idea! Oh, man. Fine, but you have to go away for a really long time again damn you!"



I turn to my husband while visions of him being a cowboy dance in his head, "Um, that movie is about how those two fall in love but since people are prejudice assholes they have to hide their love." Mr. Rit's face falls "What?" I spell it out for him "It's about gay cowboys! Man, how do you not know that?" Mr. Rit "Are you serious? It's..they...really?" His face falls "I get it, that's why it's called brokeback mountain." I glare at him.

I deserve to be sainted for that.

GAME OooN! Bingo is totally on tonight. I am so excited I could wet myself. Blue-haireds...watch out. Sodd, Tom, Karen and a bunch of our friends went last week and Sodd said "man, I can't believe how serious those people are. They almost took Mike's head off when he yelled Bingo before he should have." Then I cackled. Yep, a cackle. Sodd is becoming increasing concerned about my attendance this evening. I just called him.

Sodd: Hey, Rit
Rit: There was an old lady who had a cool marker caddy for her favorite game called BINGO
B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-...interuption.
Sodd: Little excited aren't we, Rit.
Rit: I love old people. I especially like taking all their money. Hey, did they have those cool marker caddies on sale at Bingo last week? How many different color markers can I get?
Sodd: What? What's a caddy? Wait, some ladies had something they put their markers in, is that what that is called? You really need to not be so, um, these people are really serious about bingo Rit.
Rit: I'll fashion one out of my curtain fabric. Maryanne is meeting at our house at six. Six o'clock. We will be at the church at 6:15. I don't want all the blue haireds getting the good seats.
Sodd: Ok. Um...interuption.
Rit: I gotta go. I need to practice whoopin' ass. I have my boss calling out the bingo numbers. See ya at six!

Also my dad called me and said "Hey, when is Mr. Rit coming over so I can kick his ass in poker again." To which I responded, "What you don't want me to come? You are totally scared of me since I kicked your ass on Christmas." Then he said "Whatever, I'm not scared of you. I'll beat your ass this time. Oh, and your mother said your anniversary is almost here and she's talking about spending more of my money. I'm still finding bills from christmas tucked all over the house so let's make a deal. We will take you guys out to dinner and have a moment of silence for all the money I shelled out on your wedding. Anniversary present done." Me "Deal. But I'm kicking your old ass on Saturday, Daddy!" We are going over to la rents on Saturday night for dinner. My sissy's finance is coming in town this weekend and we will be having a Texas Hold em' tournament.

Guess who is back on the market. Mr. Knight Rider. Yes, indeedy. The Hoff is open for business. Get in line, Popo is first.

Everyday I read Dear Abby. I do. I enjoy it. I am also pretty good a dispensing some advise. So this morning I was reading it and it hit me. "Self, you could do a little segment called Ask Rit." Genuis. So email me at ritmeyer@charter.net and I will answer your life's troubles. Trust me, I know stuff. I was in therepy from 14-20. Yeah, once the Rents cut me off I didn't have to go anymore. I will use terms like, passive agressive, empowering, sexual disfunction, and asshat.

I was tagged by Amanda to reveal my 5 weird habits.

"The first player of this game starts with the topic five weird habits of yourself and people who get tagged need to write an entry about their five weird habits as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next five people to be tagged and link to their web journals."

That was very discriptive. Anywho, I wonder if I can find anymore weird habits after doing the 100 things wrong with me up to 80?

1. I never wear matching socks. I will even wear non matching socks to the gym, with shorts or my pants that end 4 inches above my sock line. One could be black, one could have snowflakes on them. One could be white, one could be multi-colored stripes. I find sorting socks boring.

2. My kitchen has to be clean before I will relax and watch TV. Period. I think this is why Mr. Rit married me, he never has to do dishes.

3. I don't wash my makeup off before I go to bed. I was blessed with good skin and I somehow got this idea in my head that that meant it was ok. Which it does. Shut up about getting wrinkles, I'll believe when I see it. Then I will get botox.

4. I HATE long voice mail messages. Mine cell says, "You've reached Rit..beep" our home phone says "You've reached the Meyers...beep". I'm pretty sure people know to leave their name, number and message and that I will call them back. If not, you're a retard and to quote Popo "No offense to retards." When I call a friend and they have a long message, I hang up. When they call me back, because they have caller id, and ask me why I didn't leave a message I tell them that I must have fell asleep during their long message and hung up the phone. If you have you kids do some long cutsy message, I find it cute once. Just once. ONLY ONCE! Then I leave my own form of "cute" message on your VM that may or may not involve my rape whisle and my stunning rendition of I'm a little Teapot, Bobin' up and down in My Little Red Wagon, and It's a Small World.

5. I can't get off the phone or leave somewhere without telling the people I love that I love them. Even if my mom just called me a selfish little pain in the ass, I will storm out screaming "I love you so much!" Even if my husband and I just got into some major fight and then I have to go to dinner with my friends, I walk up to him and say "I really don't like you right now, but I will love you forever." I can't stand the thought of someone's last encounter with me ending with me not letting me know how I feel. I guess that happened one too many times...The surprising benefit to this tick, is that my loved ones find it so hysterical that it ends the fight.

I tag the usual suspects. Hizzle, Tinapopo, Tim, Lulu, and BabyJewels. Oh and anyone else who wants to.

I have seen on several sites, namely Kimmyk where I found this image above, that it is National De-Lurking Week. If you lurk, which I know you do because I know you come here, that's ok. But this week say something, anything:

Hello, You are my Hero
I worship you, so why won't you answer my emails.
You are so hot, leave Skywalker for me.
You are incredibly selfish.
Why are you such an evil bitch?
I read you because your life makes me feel better about mine own.

You know, let me know you were here. It's like my bulldog Ms Maggie Magee peeing on my carpet. She's just telling me she loves me.

Unless you put crack on a bun.

A bun is in Angelina's oven, and Pitt put it there.

After weeks of rumors as reported here and here, at thebosh, the sexy actress confirmed the pregnancy while in the Dominican Republic, where she is filming "The Good Shepherd" with Matt Damon.

"Yes, I'm pregnant," the magazine quoted Jolie as telling charity aid worker.

Last week, Celebrity Weekly Life & Style reported on exclusive evidence pointing to a pregnancy for the Hollywood star. According to the mag, when the actress returned to the set of The Good Shepherd in early December for a few days of reshoots after a two-month break, the crew immediately noticed a problem: The costumes no longer fit over Angie’s suspicious stomach bump. “Her body had changed so much,” an onset insider tells Life & Style, “that her wardrobe had to be refitted to give her extra room in the tummy area. Several dresses had to be altered.”

I wonder how long until Maddox gets out of rehab and Zahara gets knocked up and blames it on their parents loving their "real" kid more. Oh shut up, you know you thought it too.

PS. My boss knocked on my door right after I said the first John, um that's his name and he thought I was calling him. Oops.

So yesterday BabyJewels said and I quote "Psst. Audio blog tommarow. pass it on.(also, popo's sleeping with the janitor) ". So last night around 10:30 pm I made my audio post. It was awesome. There was mid-west accent all up in that post. I pressed the button to post to my blog. Where the hell is it? Um, somewhere on some blog someone has an audio post with some mid-western freak yelling Taco Bell and calling out one BabyJewels to represent.

Damn, we got all serious. Tim likened us to Dr. Phil and I have to agree.

Thank god we have quasi-celebrities doing things like this. Hey, at least she didn't take after Paris with the ole whoo-ha digging. [source]

This is going to be a departure from my normally light and breezy posts, if you don't like it please wait a couple hours until some juicy gossip post goes up.

Oprah and the rest of the world has fallen for A Million Little Pieces by James Frey. I also have read this book. Due to my close proximity to recovering alcoholics, I found much of the book hard to take. His claim that alcoholism and drug addiction is a choice and not a disease, is not only wrong as proven by medical science which has classified it as a disease, but a gross lie that will help further perpetuate the idea most of the world has that an alcoholic is mearly a person who has no self control. He also claimed that 12 step programs were crap. Not according to the many love ones I know who have found sobriety through these programs when they couldn't go a day without drinking or using. I don't believe that 12 step programs are the only way to get sober, but to say they don't do anything since they aren't diseases, is an irresponcible statement.

Imagine my not a all surprise when I was looking at the Smoking Gun and found their in depth exclusive A Million Little Lies that came out on January 8, 2006. James Frey has exaggerated and out and out lied about almost everything in his book.

BlogNYC says it best:

Sounds like little Miss Oprah got duped, and made a lying preppy boy who says the 12 step program is bullshit and that addiction is a choice not a disease, really fucking rich in the process.

Make sure you go read The Smoking Gun's version, it goes into much more detail and actually chronicles interviews with Frey himself as well as law enforcement and acquaintances of Frey's and point out every step of the way how Frey just makes shit up.

That, my friends, is the definition of an asshat.

****Lulu has brought to my attention that Oprah and her people need to be held accountable as well. Nice research Oprah, nice research. I will continue my not reading of your book club books. (I have read many books that eventually find their way on your list, and when it was a good one it makes me sad for the book.)

This weekend was awesome. Why was it so awesome? I'm not freaking sick anymore that's why. Friday Mr. Rit and I decided to have date night. On our way out the door some friends called and say Bingo was on. We were conflicted, but Italian food was calling my name so off we went to my friend Nick's family restaurant. We love going to The Hill. Yummy, yummy toasted ravioli. It's a St. Louis thing that you all must try before you die. Dinner was lovely and romantic. Yes, we do romantic every once in awhile. Of course we can't possibly continue romantic all night. We went home and played gin rummy, which Mr. Rit hadn't ever played. I must have forgotten to tell him that you don't have to lay down the run or 3 of a kinds as soon as you aquire them. When 5 hands in I picked up a card and layed everything down and won, he looked at me and threw his cards across the table and yelled "Cheater! " I looked at him all innocent like and said "It's in the rules, do you want me to google it?" Mr. Rit "well, well, if those are the rules, that's the chicken shit way of playing! I'm not going to play anymore!" Me, "Boo boo kitty head don't be like that." Mr. Rit "Fine, fine we'll still play but I'm going to hold all my cards. Let's see if you will still win after that." Well, I did still win. I was a tense game up until it hit 500 points. He challeged me to another game, he won that. He trash talked and I asked God if he was there, because Margaret was about to whoop some husband ass. Aren't we precious?

So, la Skywalker and I had a bit of the pregnancy scare this month. Mr Rit has been bugging me about having a kid since the minute we got married, but I wasn't ready. I was 5 days late and when Saturday rolled around and we discovered we weren't pregnant, I found out that I want a baby. I cried. I walked downstairs in tears to get some comfort from my football watching husband (who is also watching with Tom and Sodd):

Rit: ::tears in eyes:: I'm not pregnant.
Skywalker: You I-D-I-O-T!!!!
Rit: What?
Skywalker: DAMN IT! made aware of me because Tom and Sodd are staring at me and hitting him What...oh my god, why are you crying. What's wrong!
Rit: I'm not pregnant.
Skywalker: On no, really? I totally thought you were. Damn. hugs me then starts watching game again.
Rit: So, um. I was thinking we should just start trying.
Skywalker: WHOO HOOO! clapping while Tom and Sodd's mouths drop open. Tom starts laughing.
Rit: SKYWALKER! I'm trying to talk to you.
Skywalker: Rit, you're killing me. Can't this wait until..YES!!!! all the boys have jumped up and clapping and yelling, I'm wishing Karen had come over with Tom.

I know it is stupid to be talking to him in the middle of watching whatever game he is watching. I also know that this is not the type of conversation you have infront of your friends. I know these things. But my mommy clock has over ridden my brain, rendering my rational thought powerless.

Rit: I want to start trying to have a baby now.
Skywalker: But I thought you were all upset that you might be pregnant because you wanted to lose that last 10 lbs you put on when you quit smoking before you get pregnant? Tom looks at me eyes all big looks back at Mr. Rit and says "you're an idiot"
Rit: glaring at him, mouth agape when genuis strikes Fine, how about we start when I lose that 10 lbs.
Skywalker: Oh my god, son of a bitch and all the boys are yelling at some dumb ass football player
Rit: Mr. Rit!!! So...
Skywalker: Ok, fine.
Tom and Sodd's mouths drop open, I leave the room satisfied.

The adult in me thinks I may need to discuss this with him again. The bigger part of me worked out for two hours yesterday and got up at 5:30 this morning and worked out. Besides, Tom and Sodd probably told him what he agreed to anyway.

Here are answers Star Jones gave about her husband Al. [source] In order to get an actual hetrosexual male's responce, Mr. Rit was interviewed.

On Al's bedroom attire: About a week later, in bed, I said to him, 'Honey, you have on your T-shirt - are you cold?' And he, whom most people consider to have one of the most gorgeous bodies on the planet - those shoulders - answered me by saying, 'I just don't look as good naked as you do.'"

Mr Rit's bedroom attire: Did he want to get laid? Is that why he said that bullshit about her looking better naked than him? You always look better naked, cause you have boobs and I don't. Who is Star Jones?

On Al's passion: "My man - he's passionate ... Al is passionate about some textures - he loves the feel of cashmere."

Mr. Rit's passion: What's cashmere? Is that like whatever a Duvet is? Hey, are we gonna do it tonight or what, cause you'll see my passion there.

On how they got through two months of celibate courtship: "Al and I often used dancing as that outlet ... We'd read poetry out loud. When I say to you that this was far more intense lovemaking than any 'wham, bam, thank you ma'am' could ever be, I mean it."

Mr. Rit's responce: Did you just say poetry and "lovemaking"? Ha, ha, ha. I'll show you wham, bam, thank you Mr. Rit" hell yeah. Hey, why can I hear you typing? Are you gonna put this on your stupid blog thingy? RIT!

Somehow we were disconnected.

So, for some reason Bingo is game off tonight. I don't know if Mr. Rit saw Tim's suggestion for yelling at the blue hairs during the high stakes game and he knows that I would indeed do that or if my insane competitive nature has driven my friends from wanting to do anything with me that declares a winner. Hey, I apologised 2 weeks ago for getting all crazy and I have incorporated something in my prayers that has been helping me.

::Kneeling at bedside::

Are you there God? It's me Margaret ::laughter:: I know I do that everytime, but seriously it is funny. Oh and thanks for letting someone invent adhesive strips. Anywho, I've been having some trouble with being too competative. You know how my earthly Dad told me that there was no such thing as being too competative? I think he was wrong. Mr. Rit stares me real mean when I yell at someone for messing up if we are playing teams. I think I may actually care about embarassing him. Well, just with this one thing. Please help me not care so much that I win. Um, ok that's too much. Please help me not yell and berate my friends and trash talk so much. I don't like hurting people's feelings. Ok, people I like. I don't want to be mean to my friends, please help me to be kinder. Oh and world peace.

I think it is working. Last weekend I didn't yell at anyone, and i lost both games of Apples to Apples. See!

She really loves me! Look at me beautiful new template and logo. LOOK DAMN IT! Isn't it awesome. This was well worth the wait.

Thanks TinaPopo!

Because I like anything with Me in it. Thanks, Popo and Lulu.

First off, I'm still sick. I am on a course of antibiotics that haven't kicked in yet. I will be traveling home soon. And then spending the day blogging. Fine, sleeping. (If sleeping means blogging)

A is for age:
28 years aged to perfection.

B is for booze of choice:
Nyquil

C is for career:
I thought C was for cookie, that's good enough for me! Oh cookie cookie cookie starts with C.

D is for your dog's name:
Ms. Maggie Magee (bulldog )and Gus (lab). They are camera shy. And Ms. Maggie Magee is lazy. Like her mama.

E is for essential items you use everyday:
Clean undies, a shower, and my coffee maker. Oh and Mr. Rit. And my pact with the Devil.

F is for favorite song at the moment:
I'm not sayin' she a golddigga, but she ain't messin' with no broke nigga.

G is for favorite games:
Poker online or in person I will smoke you! Apples to Apples, scene it, and spaides. I will crush you. Kill you. You. Will. Lose. Does someone want to come play with me, Mr. Rit and my friends won't play with me anymore?
::crickets::

H is for hometown
Des Peres, Mo. We love it when fellow Missourians call it Dez Perez, Missoura.

I is for instruments you play:
Guitar and Mr. Rit.

J is for jam or jelly you like:
Ewww, the word jam makes me think of toe jam.

K is for kids?:
Well, I'm 3 days late so here's to freaking out!

L is for last kiss?:
5:30 am this morning.

M is for most admired trait:
My shocking beauty. But that is a tie with my emense humility.

N is for name of your crush:
Ummmmm, Mister Rit? Yes. Yes that's it.

O is for overnight hospital stays:
Well, there was the time I slamed a bottle of Vodka the first time I drank. I believe that may have been a two dayer.

P is for phobias:
We don't have the time for this one. Baby steps...

Q is for quotes you like:
"Lots of people go to school for seven years."
"Yeah, their called Doctors." Tommy Boy

R is for biggest regret:
As cheesy as this may sound, I have none. I know everything I've done has made me who I am. Wait, scrap all that shit. I am pissed I didn't buy those boots at Nordstom's the other day. Damn me, damn me to HELL!

S is for sweets of your choice:
REESE"S PEANUT BUTTER CUPS!

T is for time you wake up:
Alarm 6:00am. On a good day, I'm up. The other 364 days. 6-snooze. 6:09 snooze. 6:18 bargain with self, no breakfast, change alarm to 6:45. 6:45 bargain with self no shaving the legs in the shower, hit snooze. 6:54 drag ass out of bed.

U is for underwear?
Yes, please.

V is for vegetable you love:
All but peas. I hate peas. Peas suck.

W is for worst habit:
None. I quit smoking and now I am perfect. Fine, gossip. Just like Popo. I LOVE to know.

X is for x-rays you've had:
Each finger. Both wrists. My left leg. My knees. My right ankle. My left arm. 2 Cat scans.

Y is for yummy food you make:
I make a killer chili, great salads and hors d'ouevres, and an awesome chicken dish that involves bacon, sour and cream cheese among other things.

Z is for zodiac sign:
Taurus.

Patient and reliable
Warmhearted and loving
Persistent and determined
Placid and security loving

On the dark side....

Jealous and possessive
Resentful and inflexible
Self-indulgent and greedy

This sign crap is for the birds. Anyone who knows me would never use the word Patient or placid to describe me. Or loving.

Oh, and you know I pronouce my sign like this: TAR-US
I take this sign thing to mean I'm a Ford.

Lindsay Lohan revealed to Vanity Fair that she had bulimia and has used drugs. [source]

"I was sick ... I had people sit me down and say, 'You're going to die if you don't take care of yourself,' " the star admits in the latest issue of Vanity Fair, which hits newsstands today. She's used drugs "a little" -- but quickly insists, "I've gotten that out of my system." Then, squirming over her sudden public admission to the mag, the star appears flustered when asked if her drugs of choice included cocaine and denies she ever did it. She adds only, "I don't want people to think that I've done ... you know what I mean? It's kind of a sore subject." Vanity Fair said her publicist phoned the mag the next day to try to squelch the confession.

How could she have let something like that slip out? Maybe she was all coked up, or had just eaten too much and needed a potty break? She is looking rather thin again and was just hospitalized for an "asthma attack".

She also admitted that she smothered Wilmer and that is why they broke up. Don't feel bad Linsday, that is how all 18 year old girls relationships get broken up. Well, the ones that are insecure and smothering.

In other news, Michael Jackson's career is over.

My best pal KFed dropped his single- Popozao. This song is so bad it's good. Like when I heard the little bit of his last song and I played it 500 gazillion times. Yes, I did. Let me be the first to connect our Popo to Kfed.

I wanna see your kitty and a little bitta titty
Wanna know where I go when I'm in your city
Girl, don't you worry about all the dough
Cuz a cat is coming straight outta the 'No

How is that not about Popo and her 'night' job.

Nicole Richie, that's what's missing. What happened chica? This is so not hot! Please, eat something. PLEASE! [source]

as well as my first post of 2006. I could not have planned this any better. New Years was great. We went to a friend's party then back to our house for Texas hold em until 5 in the morning. I won 2 tourney's and came in 2nd in the third and my friends are starting to think twice about playing with me anymore. Kiss it, I can't help it if I rock at the poker. I'm going to the World Series of poker, hell yeah I am.

I got all pyched up and ready to kick some wrinkled ass and do some yelling Bore-a-phil style at Bingo on Friday. We pulled up to an empty church parking lot. Not going on that night, so bingo is happening this week.

Yesterday we layed around the house and watched movies. March of the Penguins, which I cried my eyes off at. Poor baby penguins that didn't make it. Damn IT! Then we watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith and I have discovered that when I look at Angelina I want to hit her. I am definately for the non cheating Team Aniston. Screw those two assholes. Mr. Rit said the same thing. Then we watched the Law and Order CI marathon.

Today I have just woken up and feel like when you were a kid and you know that you have to go back to school the next day and you are all sad. I don't want to work tomorrow. Oh well, I'm going to go wake up Mr. Rit and see what fun we can go have today.