Mr. Rit informed me that he is going out of town this weekend. It was pretty funny, because he said it as if I should already know that he was going to go to his friend's land and start burning stuff so they can build a cabin or something. Sometimes I still am amazed at how different we are. My people call contractors, he knows how to build things like houses with his own hands. That's hot.

Anywho, I was so excited! Another "It's like I'm single and can go anywhere I want and not have to call anyone to tell them where I am going" weekend. Friday is on! But after getting off the phone with everyone I know, I found out that they are all busy going out with their husbands or boyfriends on Saturday. My lone single friend who is a nurse is working. What's a girl to do? I'll probably end up stalking all your blogs while listening to Celene Dion's All by Myself, eating oreos, and giving myself a mani and a pedi. Maybe I'll go teepee my parent's house? Who wants to hang out. I just went to Costco so I've got the toliet paper.

I'm totally in! I love a good TP escapade.

You know, TP doesn't just stand for TinaPopo.

No, no it doesn't. It stands for Tittie Parade too.

Or the more common spelling of Titty.

I'm totally coming home early from vacation for this!

I love the word tittie.

But I prefer the "ie"

Maybe it's an east coast thing.

I have started using the word tittie in everyday life. If I'm mad a something "Oh, titties!" Something cool just happened "Titties!" If congratulations are in order "Titties to you".

If one day you come here and find that I have been committed, you will know that Mr. Rit just couldn't take it anymore. Right now, he still laughs at it...and he shakes his head.

Fine, come stay with me this weekend. I double dare you!

If you eat cookies in bed, Bert will get mad at you. Why did Ernie and Bert sleep in the same bed, anyways?

TP also stands for Tongue Proctologist. (<~~~that was fucking sick.)

I hate it when I have time off from married life and none of my friends are available because they're all stuck in theirs. I feel your pain.

I thought TP stood for toe puss. But what do I know?

I would spend the whole damn weekend in the bed and only get out of it for food and the bathroom. I'm a lazy-ass.

That was my second choice, but it is sunny and 50 here so I'm not depressed. I just like staying out until 3am without having to call the ole ball and chain to let him know I will be out that late. Maybe I'll just go to Denny's for a late night snack.

I'm a little gun shy of Denny's. This one time I ordered a steak well done. I even said, (and I quote) "Charcoal it". When they brought it to me it was bloody and chewy like bubble gum. Blech.

Pease move closer. And bring the oreos.

I'll just move while Mr. Rit is gone and send him the forwarding address.