That sums up my night last Friday. My sister Lauren (Lolo or Lo is what I have called her for years, so Laguna's Lo can kiss it) and I love us some sushi. Love it! My mom on the other hand is not a fan. Not that she has ever even tried it, but she says she knows she will hate it. Whatever. So I meet up with Lo over at the rents house. We sit with my mom talking wedding stuff for about an hour when I go change into going out clothes. I come back in and sit down for more wedding talk. Then my mom says "So, you are going for sushi?" We both sense that she wants to hang out with us. The only reason that we didn't invite her was because she said she hates sushi. We love hanging out with her, she is good times. So we spend the next 5 minutes telling her to come and then looking for a sushi place that also serves cooked dishes that look nothing like sushi.

Then my dad comes home from work. He is on a super health kick. He is working out and watching what he eats. He walks in the door and says to me "Weren't you already here once this week eating my food?" My mom informs him that we are all going out to eat and asks if he wants to come. He decides not to. Then he walks to the fridge and gets out a yogurt and says "Did you know that yogurt helps you lose weight?" me "really. I did not know that." My dad goes and reachs in the liquior cabinet "Yeah and red wine is good for you too. I going to have some tonight as a treat." This must be tough for my beer loving father. Me "Yeah, mom told me you lost some weight. Looking good pops. Is this what is referred to as a mid-life crisis?" Dad "What is Luke doing tonight? Loving his break from your smart ass?" While we are waiting for my mom to get dressed I watch my dad eat 3 yogurts. I look at my sister and we start cracking up. My dad walks to his bedroom and returns in workout gear "I'm going on the treadmill. Have fun eating sushi." We are off.

Sushi was good. We decide to go see Walk the Line, but the showing was too late and so we went to Blockbuster. We can't agree on anything when genuis strikes. My mom and sister are both fans of The Office and my aunt gave my brother The 40 Year Old Virgin for christmas. I ask if they had watched it yet and this is the response I got. Lo's eyes get big and she looks at me with the shut up look. Damn it, I forgot. My mom says "No I have not seen it. I hid it from your brother. That is the most inappropriate gift to give a 16 year old. Don't you think. Shit!" I forgot, damn it. My mom is awesome. She has a great sense of humor and we have a blast, but I'm 28 and it wasn't always like that. She is a wonderful parent who believes in instilling values in her children. She was pissed that my drunk aunt bought this for my brother. And you know what, I don't blame her one bit. I flash back to christmas:

We give out presents oldest to youngest. My brother opens his gift from my aunt who's stint in rehab obviously worked like a charm as she is f*ing trashed. Even my brother know this is f*ed up as he opens the gift and says weakly "Oh, it's the 40 year old virgin." My uncle (who married this woman, thus inflicking her upon us) stares in horror. My mom says "What? The 40 year old virgin?" Then a voice says "Are there condoms in there too. There should be!" I am sitting next to my mom and she believes my sister said this. Mom "WHAT! Who said that! Lauren, what in the hell is wrong with you." I lean over and whisper "Mom, it was drunk aunt." My mom glares at my aunt and uncle "You are messed up."

So now I'm back in Blockbuster. Shit. She may not be able to enjoy this movie knowing it was a gift for my brother. When she and I when to see Good Will Hunting and the sex scene came on she covered my eyes and I think I was like 21 or something. So I ask "Will you be able to just chill out and enjoy this movie? It is really funny and it is with Michael from The Office?" My mom with her jaw clenched "Yes, I will try. Is it really bad?" Me "No, it's not that bad."

We open the door to the house and my dad is passed out on the couch with the wine bottle on the table. He jumps up "What? Who's there? mumble mumble" This was my Dad's first lesson that you can't drink the equivilent liquid of 2 beers in red wine. You will be drunk. 3 yogurt cartons are on the coffee table as well. Healthy living at it's finest.

My mom lasts 20 minutes in to the movie when she says "This is terrible, I can't believe that woman bought this for your brother!" And leaves. Lo and I watch and laugh our asses off! It was a good friday.

I have to go baby furniture shopping tonight, but it's all ok because when I get home I get to watch The Office.

Yeah, we are going to our CPA today. But The Office after is the only thing that keeps me going. We should send them a thank you note.

You're parents sound awesome. I want to be your dad's diet buddy.

Sean-If my sister calls off her wedding and you move to chicago, I'll set you up.

BabyJewels-My dad is so freaking funny. Lo and I are thinking of creating a make believe health article and e-mailing it to him. Something about eating prunes 3 times a day or something.

I really didn't like the 40 Year Old Virgin. The scene at the end with that Nympho broad was only one step away from porno, and I was watching it with my in-laws. Talk about uncomfortable!

Good post. I like long posts. Shit. Did that make me sound gay?

I want to be your dad's diet buddy, too. Bring on the red wine!