Aren't we all glad I made it back just in time for this!

Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise have welcomed their first child together, two inside sources told PEOPLE. The couple "joyously welcomed the arrival of a baby girl, Suri, today," the actor's rep said in a statement after PEOPLE first broke the news exclusively. "The child weighed 7 pounds, 7 ounces and was 20 inches in length. Both mother and daughter are doing well." The name Suri has its origins in Hebrew meaning "princess," or in Persian meaning "red rose," the rep added. (source)

Or the origins are the ever popular musical OKLAHOMA. People really need to stop saying Tom is gay. I don't know where the get these crazy ideas from.

Welcome to the world Suri Cruise Xenu.

Chicks and ducks and geese better scurry
When I take you out in the surrey,
When I take you out in the surrey with the fringe on top!
Watch that fringe and see how it flutters
When I drive them high steppin' strutters.
Nosey pokes'll peek thru' their shutters and their eyes will pop!




Hey, do you think Kate will let me borrow her baby bump to go with my lady lumps? My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,My hump, my hump, my hump, I needs some fake baby bumps.

Whoo! That was done in true Rit-style! as only you can do! More, please!

Don't you find it odd that, except for names, this baby's description matches that of Brooke Shield's baby girl, also born today?

Something STINKS and it ain't diapers! Tom probably paid Shields for her baby-double.

Ummm, that is entirely possible. Oh, I will get on that meme soon.

Yeah they tell you how heavy it was but not the colour, I'm thinking green with yellow spikes up its back.

(I'm gonna regret that when we see it and it's really cute aren't I?)

That pic convinced me that this is the biggest publicity stunt in the history of Hollywood. So I'm waiting for a live interview with Oprah (that way they can't photoshop a human baby in their arms).

Ha! That bump is so believable. Really, like my padded bra.

You can almost see the black and orange underneath her shirt. (Because it's a basketball. Get it? No. OKay.)

This has nothing to do with anything, but I know how strongly you felt about the James Frey thing... Kevin Smith, the director of Clerks, Mallrats, etc. wrote a 9 part story on his blog about the struggles of Jay getting sober. It's an awesome read if you can spare about 3 hours.

i didn't really believe she was pregnant until i saw her nasty, bloated body in the bathing suit in tahiti. i mean, really - i know you gain weight when you're pregnant, but she was looking like mrs. doubtfire. ugh. and she used to be so pretty... and normal.