Because I am all cracked out on coffee due to my decision to not sleep much this weekend, I started thinking about other dumb things I've done. There are many. One of my favorite's is the time I crashed into the ATM machine. Yes crashed. With my car. I was sixteen. I didn't even have an ATM card. SMART!

My friend Claire and I decided to drive around. I don't remember if we had a destination, but when your sixteen and just got your license, do you need a one? Hell no! So we are crusin' listening to a mix tape when she asks to go to the ATM. It was one that was attached to the bank building. She tells me to pull up the wrong way so she can use the ATM through her window. I proceed to pull up very, very far from the window. I am trying to pull up again and as she is saying "Pull in closer you moron" I gas it and slam into the damn machine. Mouths agape staring at my car having sex with the ATM, ruff sex (money did not come out, it did later come out of my parent's pockets though). Claire yells for me to drive off. I do. Brillant. Blues Traveller's "It won't me a thing in a 100 years" is playing on the mix tape. Claire tells me that this won't mean a thing in 100 years. I don't believe her.

We show up at my boyfriend's work hyterical. He pointed out that ATMs have cameras and I might want to go back, oh and that I am a dumbass. I don't like him much right then.

As we drive up to the ATM, cops have swarmed it. The police station is directly across the street. Great. This is the county, not the city. I soon learned that county cops take ATM hit and runs very seriously. I walk into the station and tell the person at the front desk that it was I who hit the ATM across the street that has half of their police force occupied. The lady tells me to take a seat. Twenty minutes later a police officer walks out of the back with a box in his hands. He talks to the lady and she points at me. He walks over to me slowly and is shaking the box back and forth. He gets up infront of me and and holds out the box and says "Is this your car?" In the box is peices of a headlight. I say "If it is from the ATM across the street, yes it is." I am a bit confused because I did just walk in and tell them I hit it. This confusion was apparently obvious on my face and this cop meant business and did not appreciate it. "Show me the vehicle in question Ma'am." I took this to mean he wanted to see my car, so we walked to it. He went around to the driver side, glared at me and then walked over to the passenger side. "Ma' am, this damage is on the passenger side." I say "Yes, it is."
He said "Now why would the damage be on this side, it is clearly marked by arrows on the ground that you should pull up to the ATM with the drivers side by it. From this damage, I believe you pulled up to the ATM illegally." Me "Yes I did." Copper "Why would you need to do that." me" I don't even have and ATM card. My friend has one and wanted to do the transaction herself." In the end he made up some ticket for going in the ATM the wrong way, hit and run, and destruction of property. The bank didn't want to press charges so I only had the wrong way ATM ticket and we had to paid for all the damages.

I learned 2 things from this. One, I am dumb. Two, county cops are very serious. Three weeks later 4 of my friends and I were driving home at 11:55 pm. We weren't speeding and were pulled over. The cop came up to the car yelling for us to put our hands up. He yelled and asked us if we had any drugs and alcohol in the car because he had to shoot a guy on pot (yes he said pot and shoot) the night before. He probably was all crazy wanting some Taco Bell threatening to watch the cop's TV for hours on end. That shit is serious. Don't do drugs kids. He gave us a curfew ticket.

My car was broken into in the city. The cops didn't come, they were too busy dealing with shootings and drug dealers, maybe dealing with other cops shooting crazy kids on the pot?

Ritmeyer that was a great post. I got in trouble like that as a kid too. I can totally relate. glad you didn't get shot.

It was a close call, being that we were all on the pot acting crazy!

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you have some serious car issues, lady. and pot issues. damn crazy kids.

Sometimes I like to drive with my eyes closed, is something wrong with that?