Thank goodness! According to the radar online John Travolta and Kelly Preston, Scientology's equivalant to Dick Cheney and wife, swooped into New Orleans with a 400-member Scientology Disaster Response Team already in place.

The couple visited shelters and doled out 1,200 tetanus shots to relief workers while Travolta “showed a demonstration of the ‘assists’ that the Volunteer Ministers are giving and which are helping individuals overcome the trauma of loss of homes and loved ones,” the release stated. (radar online)

Assists are massasges that are used as a recruiting method by scientologists. Yep that's right. John and Kelly are helping people with no homes, food, or bathrooms by giving them massages. I will never understand why people think this is a cult. I mean, when you have lost your home and can't find half of your family, that's when you need a massage the most. I am right or am I right! Hey, they should at least give them a 'happy ending'.

If you really want to seal the deal, happy endings are a must. (I'm just going with my previous interviewing experience here)

Holy hell, that scared the CRAP out of me! The page loaded slow and all of a sudden *BAM!* - there it was - Tom Cruises hidden identity.

Baby Jewels-Experience is key, always a happy ending

Mad Ethel-You know it, Xenu and Tom were twins separated at birth

One more thing, and then I'll shut up about it - but I thought that, according to Scientology, something as trivial as tetanus could be medicated with a combination of exercise and vitamins. Why are they poisoning them with shots?

I believe it is just Psychiatry Xenu said was bad. So vitamins and excercise can only help if you are bi-polar, depressed, Scizophrenic, or plain bat-shit nuts. Why do you think Tom Cruise is so fit and full of potassium?