The wedding was awesome, but very hectic. I stayed up until 2 am thursday night even though I had to meet Karen at 10 am AFTER I went to buy Luke's shirt. If I don't have to work on a weekday, I think it is a holiday. I'm nuts.

Here is the plan for friday. 10am meet Karen and Molly (bridesmaid) at Karen's. Go out to the Pit to drop off my flower arrangement kit and make sure I know where everything is. Go to lunch. Get my hair cut at 2. Get our mani's and pedi's at 3:30 and be at the rehearsal at 6 pm dinner to follow. Here is what happened:

8:00 am- wake up very tired and drink a pot of coffee. I shower and go to the mall. I am thanking God that Famous Barr is open early today, because otherwise my dumb ass would have been waiting until the mall opened at 10 am. And I was complaining that they didn't have shit planned.

9:30 am - I am looking at shoes, I tried not too but I couldn't help myself. Molly calls and said she is running late. Kick ass, more time for shoes!

10:15 am- I leave the mall with a shirt for Luke, cute shoes, and a Venti double shot house coffee from starbucks and head for Karen's. I am wired for sound, people!

11:00 am- Molly arrives and we head off. We continually say "Karen's getting married tomorrow/today, Woo Hoo!" until she says I do. We are obnoxious, but she knows it. Hey, we think it is fun, and we did it for my wedding. Karen says we have to stop and buy some tiki torches. Walmart is all out. We call several places and they are all out. My Berizon 411 operator and I are now on a first name basis. I get the number for Lowe's and they connect me with someone speaking spanish. I took four years and only know the word for beer, which I need alreay. I hang up and say fuck it, we will just drive there and hope for the best. Molly and Karen are in Molly's car and while we are on the way I call Luke to see where a Home Depot is on the way to the pit just in case. He tells me they also need 10-15 Off candles and Tom needs some chew. I am thrilled by this. Lowe's has the candles and tiki torches and off we go to a gas station for some chew, gas, and something without caffeine for yours truely.

12:30 pm- We arrive at the pit. We take the crap out of my car and I put my flower kit somewhere where it will be safe. I check on everthing I need, I'm good. Karen forgot the chew, so she and Molly leave to get it. I help move tables & chairs around while constantly looking at my watch. It is 1:00 pm.

We throw lunch down the hatch, run to get my hair cut, and then the mani's and pedi's. The rest of the day went pretty smooth.

Saturday 5:15 am- Yes, 5 freakin' 15 in the morning. Tom, Luke, Mike (good friend) and myself are going to the pit to finish getting stuff ready. We show up at Tom's and he unlocks the door naked. I get to see Tom's single naked butt for the last time. It was a moving moment. Off we go. We set up tables, chairs, tiki torches, and I check on my flower kit. It has been pilfered. I am not happy, no sir. I question the men, they have no answers. Off I go to buy new flower kit, shower, and be at the church at 12:15 for the flower delivery.

9:45 am- Luke calls they need 2 white tableclothes for the gift and cake tables. I tell him I will add it to my list.

11:00 am -Four stores and 5 "luke" calls later, I am Target looking for tableclothes and my phone rings again. They need table numbers, reserved signs, and still the damn tableclothes. I hear a loud noise, I think it was something in my head. I see a friend of mine walking by. I yell her name and she turns around and looks at me with a "What the hell are you doing in paint covered pants and a t-shirt, tennis shoes, and your hair a mess when the wedding is in 3 hours. I unload on her, she looks scared.

11:30 am- I run into my house and fling what I have bought on the floor while ripping off my clothes. I almost took out my husband as he is trying to leave to pick up the wedding party and drop them off at the church.

12:00 pm - I am dropping off my husbands shirt at Tom's (he forgot it) and he looks awesome. He tells me I look beautiful and I do look hot even though I only had 20 minutes to get ready(no matter what, I will always be conceted). Tears start to well up, but no time for that. I fix his hair and fly off to the church.

12:20 pm- I arrive in time for the flowers and am freaking out because they were delivered differently than I was told and I don't know how I am going to fit them in my car. Whatever. Karen gets there and looks beautiful. We have fun hanging out and getting ready.

1:15 pm - I pass out mothers and grandmothers flowers while trying to dodge the pastor who is very pissed off that my husband and Tom haven't gotten there yet.

2:00 pm - Tom and Luke arrived 5 minutes earlier and 50 people are standing in line waiting to be seated. I tell the ushers to stop having people sign the guest book and I pass out programs. The ceremony starts 5 minutes later. Karen is beautiful.

2:30pm - I have Mike help me push my seats forward and get the flowers in my car. I am driving like an eighty year old woman with the steering wheel a inch from my boobs. I go to the store I called that has the tableclothes, table numbers, and reserved signs. I stop by a florist to get more flowers (not enough) and get flowers for an arrangement for the gift table.

3:30pm- I tear up to the Pit screaming for the guys to help me get the stuff in. I have to arrange 30 centerpieces, 2 gift table arrangement, put out table numbers, put flowers on the cake, set & lights votives and get dressed by 4:45.

4:45pm- All done, I'm happy.

5:15pm - Mike the MC tells all of us to look out on the lake. There in a boat are Tom and Karen floating across the sunkissed water. The speakers blare Hank Williams Jr.'s "Family Tradition". (Tom, like my husband are from small towns and they love their country). "Hank, why do you drink" Me and Mike "To get drunk" Hank "Why do we roll smoke" now some of the other guests with us "To get stoned"...
I start to bawl. Two years ago Tom was in a hospital and had just been diagnosed with cancer. A year of chemo, spleen removal, numerous hospital stays, and unemployment, we didn't know if he was going to make it. Tom met Karen 5 months after his diagnosis, she joined our little family. As I watched my old friend beaming with happiness and love because of this wonderful girl who is now my new friend, I remembered those times I was just happy when he took another breath. We spent the night dancing our asses off laughing and crying. It was an amazing night and I just couldn't stop smiling, even at 6 am the next day breaking everything down in the rain.

That sounds wonderful. And we should all be so lucky to have a friend like you. You really went all out. Nice job.

Thanks babyjewels! Tom is like my brother. So part of the time I wanted to kill him, the other I want to help. It was great. But people really need to plan shit out!

wow, i'm exhausted just reading that! you are seriously a great friend. i love that you saw a naked groom - haha.

and i love me some good ol hank williams jr! i have family tradition running through my head now... ah, the college memories. i can almost taste the beam & coke...

Hank is timeless. Whether you're at a drunken college party or your wedding, he is always good times. Some people thought it in bad taste that Mike and I were singing the "To get drunk, stoned, etc" lines. I could hear my husband screaming it from the shore and Tom was pissed more people didn't join in. We are so classy!!

Oh my god, you are wonder woman. I couldn't have kept it all together. (45 minutes to do all of the arrangements?!) I'm so glad it all worked out.

You are so put-together! You did a great job.

My past bridesmaid responsibilities have just included getting the bride drunk the night before the rehearsal dinner, calming her down on wedding day, and looking cute in my dress. Oh, yeah, and making fun of the wedding planner. You are a superwoman!