Yes, my mom and I spoke last night, but I also stayed up until 11:30pm to watch Laguna Beach. Luke was mad because last week we traded a half hour of Laguna for a night of football and it was not on at 5:30, my super sweet bitches were on. I'm not watching football for that, only Laguna and maybe Breaking Bonaduce, not those spoiled bitches.

Boy, did Jessica lay down and die. Not only did she have a ginormous hickey on her neck the whole freakin' time, but she pouted and hid like the scared little girl I knew she was the whole Cabo trip. Sad, sad. Doesn't everyone know the cardinal rules of highschool survival? 1. Never hide, always hang out infront of "angry person" while laughing and talking to your friends thus ensuring they never know you are scared. Highschool bitches can smell fear, I still can. 2. Never admitt you are a slut. Ever. Even if you are, for the love of all dignity and things holy don't admitt your whoreness. Jessica, how do you not know these things? Alex walked all over you. Unfortunately Alex reminded me of myself in highschool a little bit. I was an ass. But Alex, the laughing in her face after she got Jess to admitt said whoredom-that is rule number 3. LOVED IT!

Kristen has it right, stay somewhat neutral and party your ass off. She is highschool fabulous!

I still don't get Jason's appeal, but I have changed his name from The Walking Pube to The Hickey Monster. He likes them hickey's! Anywho, when Alex went to stalk The Hickey Monster and Cedric "The Fairy" sidekick playing basketball, all resemblance of me or anyone with dignity went out the window. She just wants more hickey's, with the "I still have feelings for you" and "Why haven't you called me". Yuck. I thought she was going to be the smart one. When someone you have been dating for about a week cheats on you, uh you don't go out with them anymore.

Next week looks promising, I guess they all figure out Casey is a waste of hair extensions. I can't wait. 'Til next Monday, unless my house gets struck by lighting again, happy Laguna to all you Sluts out there!

Oh, I hope Alex will become the same whiny doormat that Jessica was when she was with Jason. I don't know why but I just can't stand Alex. Oh wait, I know why - because she asked another girl's boyfriend to formal. (I don't care what how she justifies it.)

I'm torn over wishing I was in high school with these people and thanking God that I didn't. I can't decide if it would have been the coolest, most fun thing in the world or the most traumatic, lifelong-therapy-inducing thing in the world. I will have to watch more to figure it out.

Oh, the previews do look yummy. Casey will actually get to say a whole sentence next week. Fingers crossed, she'll be able to string one together.

Yes, it is hard to string a WHOLE sentence together with all that peroxide in your brain.

The trick is to use lots of duhs! and Whatevs.

Plus we get the whole Stephen/Kristen toying with a mouse cat game she l-u-vs to play.

I know-- I can't wait for a good Kristin episode next week!

And while Jessica was indeed her usual sad self, I think Alex made a total ass out of herself, with getting up in Jessica's face, trying to worm everyone onto her side even though what she did to Jessica at winter formal was just as bad (which Kristin pointed out to Alex), and humiliating herself in front of Jason. (okay, sorry-- can you tell I don't like Alex?)

Cardinal rule of dating: NEVER stop a boy in the middle of a sporting event to have a relationship talk with him. What was she thinking?! There was no way that was going to end well.

And it would be sweet if, at the end of the school year, Jessica and Alex finally see that Jason is their problem, not one another, and gang up on him. "You're such a slut, Jason!!! Admit it!!!"

(sorry for the extended commentary. I want desperately to sleep but the caffeine won't wear off)