Thank you
Karla for this ingenius idea. She is one of my favorites!! Who gives a rats ass about good things about me? When Karla said to look deep within myself, I did. She's right, what is there is bad.
Half the folks in Blogland have a 100 Things list, in which they detail 100 miscellaneous facts about themselves, usually along the lines of "I love to cook," and "I'm a Scorpio." I looked deep inside me, and found there's just not much there. What is there is bad. Therefore, I give you my list of 100 Things Wrong With Me. To cut down on the odds that you'll fall asleep reading it, I've broken it up into parts. (from Karla, she is brilliant)Here is 11-20
11. I can't hide when I don't like someone. My dad is the same way, I take after him. If I don't like you and you say hi, I try a smile but my face looks like you just told me someone ran over my dog while symotaneously tickling me. When girls run up to me shreaking and jumping up and down yelling "Oh my gawd, oh my GAWD, (giggle, shreak, shreak) It's been sooo LONG!" I walk right past them. My real friends would never do that unless we are making fun of people who do that.
12. I like to call my husband Boo-Boo Kitty Head. I think it has to do with the fact that it annoys him, and pumpkin butt didn't get the look of total disgust that I was going for. I love to call him that infront of his friends, especially during a manly game of Texas Hold em' or when they are playing football. Example "Can you get me a diet coke boo boo kitty head, pawleeessee." As he stands up looking for the hole in the floor to swallow him up, I tilt my head and smile. "Thanks, BOO!" It is especially fun when someone is there that doesn't know me and they think he is whipped enough to get said drink.
13. I am a competative freak when it comes to everything! Luke and I will be walking from where ever to the car and I will yell "Race you to the car" and take off sprinting. Yes, yes I do.
It's my dad's fault:
Dad "Are there wusses in this family?"
Little 5 year old Rit. "No, Daddy!"
Dad "Do we cry in this family!"
Rit "No Daddy!"
Dad"What are we going to do to the other team?"
Rit "Crush em!"
Dad "Do we care if they cry!"
Rit "No we don't, we make em' cry!"
Dad "What is the other team made of?"
Rit "A big bunch of crying girls!"
Dad "Let me see your game face!"
Usually at this point my mom would walk in and yell at my dad while I put on the meanest little 5 year old girl face and growl while running in place. Then he'd give me a brownie, which I now know was to get me all sugared up. This was our ritual before every sporting event until my senior year in highschool. Now I make my husband pump me up before my co-ed soccer/softball games. I will take out my best friend to win in sports. My husband and I used to play basketball with each other until we almost beat the living shit out of each other. We were staring each other down, fists clenched and started cracking up. No more one on one. My friends really have to think about even playing a board game with me. I talk some mean pictionary smack.
14. I am obsessed with celebrities. I read People, Us and everything online. While this alone is not all that bad, it is what I do with this information that is the problem. While watching a movie I will let you know all the other movies that person is in, who their husband/wife/sister/brother/affairing with is, and any recent scandal. I don't care that it may be the most piviotal point in a movie, I believe that this information is invaluable to you.
15. I change my clothes at least twice a day. Even if the day does not call for any change i.e. buming around the house watching tv and movies with my husband, I feel the need to change at LEAST twice. I just have so many pretty things to wear.
16. I still tell people to "SHUT UP" when they tell me something I can't believe or is shocking. I sound like a valley girl. My husband looks at me and says "I know, like oh my god!" This does not deter me in anyway, nor does it when my boss or clients look at me weird. Imagine Bree Vandeekamp from Desperate Housewives saying that (that's how I look at work, the pearls and tight ponytail).
17. I don't like talking on the phone. It bores me. I would rather just talk to you in person. Instead of telling my friends that I have to let them go, I watch tv with the phone to my ear and say "Uh huh" and "Yep" when I think it needs to be said. I am not listening to a thing they say and they always catch me. I do it to everyone, and I think it is funny. So when they catch me and say "Did you hear what I just said?" I tell them no, no I did not and proceed to tell them what I am watching and how great it is. Sometimes in the middle of what they are saying I will laugh at the show. Usually this is at a point where they are telling me something that I shouldn't be laughing at, and when they say things like "How do you possibly find the fact that Kate told my boss I think he is a moron funny." I try to play it off and say things like "Well, it's funny that he is such a moron." They usually get off the phone with me then.
18. My sister looks nothing like the rest of us kids, so when she was little I told her she was adopted. She had the best come back ever "Mom and dad picked me, they just got stuck with you." She's smart that one. Anyway, when people say to me that we don't look alike I still tell them she is adopted. She was got so annoyed with me at my wedding when all of my friends were like, wow I never knew you were adopted.
19. I don't think pennies are real money, so I throw them away. My husband apparently thinks pennies are money. One day he saw me cleaning and throwing the precious pennies he took out of his pocket into the trash can. He now guards his pennies within an inch of his life and if he does catch me tossing them, I get an hour long lecture on the evils of being wasteful.
20. I love my steaks raw, the bloodier the better. If I go out to dinner with someone who gets their steaks cooked over medium rare, I go postal. I let them know that they are ruining good meat. I make, MAKE them taste my steak and then nod and smile as they put it in their horrified mouth. If they don't turn around and thank me for making them see the error of their ways and still want to over cook it, I mentally smack them in the back of the head and pout throughout dinner.
I really can't even handle this. Like I need to stop laughing at work it's that bad. I especially love #14.
I'm glad that you find all the things wrong with me funny. Some people would call them defects, but I call the defabulouses! (TinaPoPo, this is a word for our dictionary!!)
Aren't I already? What I'm not you BFF, what the hell Heather!
Lulu, please give me the pronunciation for your word as I want to use it in the next few minutes.
Ah Rit, you are like a sparkly diamond with small funny inclusions that do not detract from your value, but merely add to it. I'm also drunk.
I'm so going to get fired - I snorted and laughed the most obnoxious laugh when I read Boo-boo kitty head. GOD, that's funny!
Yes, I think so too. Skywalker does deep deep down. This is what I tell myself.
there's so much that I love about this post, that I'm not even going to get into the details of what I love about it.
#20 - eww gross! I hate steak oh wait I hate red meat. All of your list is funny ! Can't wait for the next ten!