Can people be too selfish to have children? If so, I may be one of those people.

This weekend was busy. Friday I hung out with Kate, Ava, and our friend Mo. I taught Ava KFed's song. Yes, I did. We have been running around the house singing, "Back then, they call me KFed. But you can call me Daddy instay-ed." It's bad when an 8 year old knows your rap sucks. We also started a club called the Poppers. Poppers eat blow pops, but people that smoke-namely Luke and Kate (her mom)- can't partake of the goodness that is the blow pop. I also nicknamed Kate "Her Gimpnesty" because of her crushed-rod inserted-uses a walker-injury from being hit by an 18 wheeler self. I got so many cool points from Ava on that one.

Here Ava is trying not to be photographed. We were playing paparazzi or pavarotti if I was KFed. She's super tall for 8, I was too so I was giving her pointers on how to get back at the kids who make fun of her. She asked her mom if she could live with us forever. So naturally I am really feeling like I will be such the awesome parent.

Saturday I spent all day with my mom and sister trying on wedding dresses. It was fun and very tiring. Then we had the Turkey Fry of 2005 which turned into the Order Pizza of 2005 because Luke forgot to take the turkey out of the freezer. Our friends will be coming over again in two weeks for the Really Real Turkey Fry of 2005. We were up super late Saturday night and had to go out to breakfast with my mom and sister super early. Then we went over to my parents to see my brothers especially Dan, because he was home from college for the weekend. We didn't get home until 5 pm. I am so so tired and looking forward to Desparate Housewives and My Fair Brady.

Kate is going to the hockey game, sure we will watch Ava. Luke goes to bed early, so he heads upstairs at 6:00. I flip it on Extreme Makeover Home Edition for some feel good TV watching. I need a good cry. Ava whines that she doesn't want to watch this. So we watch Coyote Ugly for the 5th time this weekend. I fall asleep. She tells me I'm boring. I tell her I'm tired. She tells me I'm boring again and then calls her mom to tell her that I'm boring. When the movie is over it is 8 and time for the housewives. Kids ask tons of questions. Why is that lady getting hives when she kisses that guy? What did he kill her husband? Oooohhhhh I love Eva Longoria. Why are they making fun of her suits? That isn't nice, why are they being so mean? Are they getting married? Well, why is she wearing a wedding dress then? During commercals I flip to My Fair Brady. Why is she crying? I explain it to Ava and she keeps asking. This is when I implement the ignore the 8 year old tactic. She doesn't like this and calls her mom again to tell her that I'm boring and when is she getting home. I am happy when mom gets home and Ava goes to bed.

I woke up this morning to find that my keys and cell phone had been hidden. I was 10 minutes late for work and between Luke and I, we still owe her $2.50 more in quarters. We started a cuss jar. The girl has gotten $10.75 from us this weekend alone. I called Luke when I finally got in the car to go to work. I explained my fear that I am too selfish to have children. He said while I was cooking dinner Ava didn't want to watch Jesse James on the Dicovery channel and wanted to put in Coyote Ugly. He told her no and that he thought that movie was dumb. I felt better just knowing that we are both selfish and therefore neither of us will be the favorite parent.

My super offspring will watch nothing but cool movies like Pulp Fiction and the Godfather.

i've been scared of babies lately. every time i saw a woman with a baby this weekend i shuddered and got a pain in my abdomen. this can't be a good sign...
but honestly i can't imagine having to take twice as long to do everything b/c you're fooling with a baby. i'm very into efficiency. that makes me selfish. i can relate, sister.

Thank god there are others who are similarly selfish and plan on spawning children. I don't feel so all alone.

When Ava starts annoying you, can you tease her about her booooyfrieeeeend? Or is it terrible that I even considered resorting to psychological warfare with an 8 year old? Don't worry, I'm not planning on breeding any time soon.

It sounds like you are awesome with her-- that's really neat.

If awesome means that I did indeed try the boyfriend approach many times during our 5th installment of Coyote Ugly, then yes everyone should allow their kids to be around us. Oh, we are probably going to put her through college with the cuss jar.

i accepted that i'm too selfish to have kids years ago. that combined with the fact that i really loathe children, stories about children, places that have children, parents of children, and anything to do with children really, leads me to believe that i'm making the right choice.

p.s. i'd still watch out for ava trying to steal your husband. kids are wiley and they instinctively know to keep their enemies close.

Everytime I think I want one, I see one screaming and hitting its mother psychoticly in the check out lane. Oh, Hells no! God would surely curse me with one of these, therefore, I won't have one.

I spent a looooooooooooong time claiming I was too selfish to have children. Now I have one and I find that I'm not selfish anymore. if you don't want one that's cool. We adopted because we felt there were so many kids in the world today without a loving home. I wish now that I had had one of my own sooner.