So, Skywalker killed a deer on his first deer hunting trip. He is all proud of his ability to kill food and provide for his family. Yep, my normal husband is now a cave man. But I found a way to nip this in the butt.

Sunday, Skywalker's truck pulls in. He left Thursday morning, so I miss him. I run out to his truck and jump in his arms. I get ready to coat him with kisses and then drag him upstairs to la bedroom (remember we have house guests) when I take a look at my husband. The normally shaved bald, goatee wearing hottie has a narley beard and hair on top of his head. He also smells, smells bad. I writh out of his grasp like a two year old who wants "down" and give him my "oohhh, gross" look. As my feet touch the ground I notice what looks like tiny specks of leaves all over his shirt. I look closer....ticks, freakin' ticks. I claimly told him "Hey honey, you have ticks all over you." Alright, really I screamed "You have ticks all over you!" and proceed to look desparately at the front of me, since my front was touching his tick covered front not more than 10 seconds ago. (I love camping, but have a serious fear of ticks. Lyme disease doesn't sound fun.)

I tell him that although I would like to jump his bones, this can not happen until he has been in the shower for an hour, in scalding hot water and uses two bars of soap to clean the funk off. Yuck. All night I get to hear about "the kill". I was trying to watch Desparate Housewives. Anyway, he informs me that we will need to buy a deep freezer. What? He takes me out to the truck where there are two coolers that are so heavy I can't lift them. They are filled with dead deer I'm told. Then he tells me that we must have this meat processed. Huh? This is costing us $120 to do. (for anyone else who doesn't know what processed means, it's just butchering...I think) Then he shows me the antlers of the animal he slaughtered. My first responce is that he is not putting that up on any walls in my house. He looks crushed, so I tell him he can pull it in the basement in the laundry room.

Bullets and stuff like that: $50
Deer Stand: $250
Other stuff I can't figure out what it was: $80
Coolers to put dead deer in: $50
Deer processing:$120
Deep Freeze:$350
Telling guys who like hunting that you killed something while knowing that the meat you are eating is a direct result of your manlyness, priceless.

Then he tells me that his is going to go hunting the weekend after thankgiving. I say "Cool. Oh, did I tell you about my new hobby?" Skywalker looks perplexed. I tell him"Yeah, it's the going to Nordstrom's and spending $900 in one weekend hobby. You know, like my mom." Needless to say, we are going to his mom's for that weekend now.

girls ruin everything!

Oh yeah! Well, boys smell funny and have cooties. SO THERE TIM!!

i can relate, rit. i grew up with my dad hunting. our house is full of mounted deer, bears, zebras, exotic game, bighorn sheep, lions, an elephant (not the WHOLE elephant). don't think my mom hasn't justified shopping because of all the permits & taxidermist bills from my dad's hobby.
since we're going home to Texas this year for Christmas, my dad wants to take his son-in-laws hunting. tim has never shot anything but a bee-bee gun. but he is so pumped about hunting with my dad.
i told him to hunt all he wants, but he can't kill anything. i'll definitely withhold sex for that.

I've never been strong enough to withhold sex. I've tried and the longest I lasted was 20 minutes, just saying it makes me horny.

AHHHH! I'm itching all over now. I hate ticks!
My dad hunts too. I took a picture of the deer ass he has hanging on the wall so I could show you guys.
The meat is really good but is it really worth it? I love your list, "Some other stuff...$80". LOL.
I wore a mohair sweater today and now it's really itchy. Crap.

Mad Ethel-Deer Ass! I can't wait. Oohhhhhh this is gonna be fun.

wait till he discovers that you can make deer jerky. that takes an entire device that dries the meat out for around $400. the justification will go something like, but if i make jerky with the meat, then i can take some with me on the next trip."
the joys of hunting.

i don't think i will ever understand why you would pay $900 to catch food you could buy for $20. i guess i am to much of a girl.

i got lyme's disease once. it was excruciatingly painful. i went my whole damned life livin gi nthe woods of PA and when do i get it? the week i went home to visit after college before staying in l.a. permanently. it was like my old state was saying fuck you! i know you're not coming back!