My life as I know it is over. And no, I am not being over dramatic. Not at all.

I have one single friend left. Well, ok, more than one. But not amongst my bitches. Only one left. You know how it goes, you go to 5 zillion weddings in a 4 year period of time until you have one single friend left who has 5 zillion bridesmaid dresses in her closet. This one single friend left did not bother me. I have only been married 10 freaking months and we still party like rock stars and shit. Well, almost.

My friend Lacy, who got married 3 months before me, was struck pregnant 2 months ago. She told me, we laughed, we cried, good stuff. Three of my other bitches have kids under one. So Sunday I head over to my friend Lana's and we hang out, having a wonderful time. We drink coffee, eat a bunch of her christmas cookies and then I go to get a refill on the java. When I walk back in the room I am shown a pregnancy test. There are two lines. We scream, we cry, we laugh. Oh, it was wonderful. We talked for hours and then I left. Baby showers, hell yeah I throwing some. Yippee! Aunt Rit again. Um...

Then it hits me. I have one single friend left and I am the only married one without offspring. Wow, life sure changes. I start cying. I cry the whole way home. I call Skywalker. "Hey.(sniffle, sniffle) " Skywalker "Whats wrong! What Happened!" I don't cry much, so he is pretty freaked out. "Lana..and Chris are...pregnant, (I sound like a two year old, it took me about 2 mintues to get this out) and everyone is...and...I don't know..cry,cry,cry..everything is... changing...no more late nights...party...cry,cry,cry, harder crying...adult we are adults...cry, cry, cry" Skywalker "Um, uh uh, I love you?" Yes, he said it like a question. Maybe if I cried more he would know what to do. "cry, cry, cry..I love..you..too, hard ass crying..what's wrong with me?.." Skywalker "uh, I don't know. When are you going to be home? Do you want me to get dinner or something. Ice Cream?" Me "I'm 10 minutes...away..cry, cry,cry..ice cream sounds..good...pizza too...cry,cry,cry..It's all gonna change, honey!" Skywalker "uh, ok,uh, uh, see you soon."

So then I did what any self respecting 28 year old woman does. I called my Mommy.

Mom: Hello
Rit: cry, cry, cry..Mom it's..Rit.
Mom: Rit, whats wrong?
Rit: Cry, cry, cry..Uh, Lana's pregnant..isn't that...great! But..uh it makes me realise that my..life..is changing..cry,cry..and everything is different..cry,cry..be in charge of another..life..cry,cry.
Mom: Take a deep breath. Try to settle down, honey. Yes, you guys are all grown up and starting your own families and that's really scary.
Rit: Hard crying, I know..that's why I'm freaked out..Lana and I aren't in the..6th grade anymore..cry,cry..she will have to take care..of a little..person. One day...I will..too. cry,cry.
Mom: Honey, just cry it out? I can hear my dad who like Skywalker is excellent with crying woman, "Where is she, is she driving? Tell her to pull over." Then my mom, "BOB! Shut up, she's upset. Lana and Chris are pregnant, Lacy's pregnant and she's freaking out because she is an adult. My dad "Wouldn't she have to start acting like one. I mean, she's on the phone with you crying. Seriously, is she driving." The only other time I cried infront of my dad was after Skywalker's dad died. After the memorial when I was driving to my apartment I got super greatful that my dad was still alive and I needed to talk to him. I called him hysterical to tell him I loved him. I almost got into an accident and apparently he is worried the same will happen. My mom "You know what, It's your fault she gets like this and only cries once every three years. Maybe if you didn't stuff all your feelings..." My dad "ask her if she's driving." My mom "fine, damn it. Rit are you driving?"
Rit: Um, no? (By this point I am no longer crying, but I am still driving)
Mom: No, she's not driving (to my dad) Rit, are you ok because you don't sound so upset anymore.
Rit: Yes, I'm ok. I can always count on your disfunction to help me out. Hey, how did operation lie to you children about going out of town go?
Mom: So far, so good. Are we still on for Christmas shopping tomorrow night?
Rit: Yep, thanks mom. I pretty much lost it there for a bit. Man, I hate crying.
Mom: No problem. You get that from you repressed father. And who are you talking to? I got married at 20, had you at 22 and everytime your Dad left the house during your first month on earth, I would beg him not to leave me alone with you. I understand the fear of having to grow up and be responsible for another human being.
Rit: Um, thanks? I think? Love ya.
Mom: Love you too.

I got home, ate pizza, and accepted that I am an adult who's friends are all having children and that I will eventually have to take care of a my own little person. Then we went to the mall and played virtual car races for the rest of the day and I puked. Being grown up sure is fun.

Not soon. I refuse to jump on that bandwagon. Now if I could only keep Skywalker away from my birth control.

FYI, if you catch it in time, it won't render you barren.

why did you puke? Are you pregnant?

No. I lesson I learned yesterday was, if you are really bad at virtual nascar, you will crash alot. When you crash alot and spin round and play 5 games in a row after you ate pizza and ice cream, you will puke.

Ah Rit, it really does change everything. I love love my son but I had him late, 35, so I got a long while to do a lot of friend stuff. All my friends semed to start on the late side. I do, sometimes, miss just hanging out really late at someones house, drinking and playing setback. But once in a great while I still do. Sounds like you have a great relationship with your parents.

I am so blessed with my relationship with my parents. they are so funny, and in this instance they just made me feel better by acting like themselves.

I think I just snapped a little. It's like now we really can't go back and live with our parents and go to schoola and have no worries. I decided to realise reality all at once. I pretty much thought I was just 15 playing house.

That's how I feel a lot of times too. I helped my husband at the paintball store all weekend and so I was hanging out with 16 and 17 year olds. I couldn't get over the fact that these were kids and I couldn't just curse and carry on like I wanted to. It sucked trying to watch myself. But they would have thought I was stupid if I was trying to act like them and be all buddy-buddy with them. Or worse yet, if I hadn't watched my mouth, they would have gone back to their parents and said I was talking about inappropriate things- you know, like drinking beer and smoking weed. "Old" people just can't act like that, ya know.

Brian and I decided to wait because we wanted some time for ourselves before we are overrun with the little monsters, but sometimes I'll see someone with a baby and get all gooey and start to cry and I freak my husband out because he thinks I'm going to go off the pill and "trap" him. I have to remind him that we are married and I can't "trap" someone I am married to...but to him it is the same thing since he is not ready to have kids yet.

Yeah, me too. I look in the face of a beautiful little child and think "Yeah, I want one." Then the child will pull my hair and my friend who hasn't done a single spontaneous thing in a year will grab said child and apolygise.

I'm gonna take my pill right now, even though I don't need to take it until 5pm.

I'm laughing so hard at this. Your dad sounds EXACTLY like mine.

As to the topic at hand, though...I'm almost 28, and haven't really considered a serious relationship in a few years, much less marriage and kids.

I have enough friends with those things that I find I can live vicariously through them. :)

Um, wait a minute. LULU - are you engaged or something? Because this is the first I've heard about serious plans to start a family in a few years. That's some serious planning ahead. You never did tell us your dirty little secret...