I am not kidding. I have never written of my life threatening morning ritual, but today I finally snaped!

I love Quick Trip. My husband loves Quick Trip. When moving I usually consult were a QT is in relation to the home I am considering. They have decent coffee, sandwiches, granola bars, huge giant sodas, and Quick Trip isn't false advertising...they are speedy!

So I go there everyday to get my coffee and granola bar and fight the urge to eat a Krispy Kreme donut. I pull in which is the first part of taking your life in your hands. There is always maybe one parking space open and 5 people backing out of a space. I don't know about you, but I like to let people out of their spaces. Call me crazy, I just think that if I let them out I could park there and they could leave and go to work and go on with their day. I am not the only person who thinks that, but there are many who torture the rest of us patrons with their selfishness. Horns are blaring and people fly 20 miles per hour (which is flying in a QT parking lot) past the people trying to back out. It's a mess, but I finally park. I purchase my goods while repeating over and over in my head "Kristy Kreme's are the devil! They will make you fat!"

I juggle my keys and coffee with my granola bar hanging out of my mouth and get in my car. I get myself situated and mentally prepared for what is about to go down. I put my car in reverse, and look behind me and to the sides CLEAR, I start backing out. I am almost completely out of my space when a car, who just pulled in the freakin QT mind you, speeds up to me and blares it's horn. I am not surprised, this happens everyday. She keeps driving, not letting me back out. I quickly pull back in so the bitch doesn't hit me and then prepare to leave my space again. Seriously if I didn't pull back in she would have hit my back end going 20 mph. This happens two more times, and 7 minutes later I am now agitated, yes sir. This time I am almost ready to put the car in drive...so you know how far out of a space that is right? Horn blare, not a honk but a blare. I see a car speeding straight for me, I don't give a shit anymore. You want to play chicken, I'm so pissed off I will win asshole! Just as the car slams on its breaks and I took my foot of the break to roll backwards a little more, I realize it is the bitch who almost hit me the first time.

She continues to have her hand on the horn and I calmly put my car in park and exit my vehicle. She stops honking her horn when she sees me get out of the car and rolls her window down and starts cussing at me. We have a crowd of people staring at us. I have yet to say anything. She keeps yelling stupid things at me, and then stops. I ask her if she is done making a total ass out of herself. She is not amused and opens her mouth to speak again. I then say I don't care to hear her white trash mouth speak anymore and that it may indeed be giving me a headache. I explain to her what a stupid bitch she is that if she doesn't back her f*ing car up so I can get out of my space I will ram her car with mine. I tell her that I have never had an accident that has ever been my fault so I have really good insurance premiums and the extra cost would be worth it to get the hell out of the QT parking lot. She doesn't say anything as I walk back to my car. As I get in I tell her that she better hurry up because as soon as I get in my car it's going in drive. She decides that I am to be believed and backs up. I was only 5 minutes late to work today. Thank you fried green tomatoes. Without movies, how would I know what to do?

That is awesome!

I'm so non-confrontational, I would never have said anything and then I would be pissed about it for the rest of the day. I need to drive around with you in my passenger seat so you can tell off the people that annoy me. Which is everyone.

Wow, that tat ain't a lie - you really are hard core! More power to ya; I probably would have been way to intimidated to actually get out of the car and would've just sat there with my reverse lights on. ;)

Wow, I do know the difference between 'to' and 'too,' I swear...

I do it all the time Susan. Sometimes I'm too lazy to type the second o in to. See I did it there.

I honestly think it was from 6 years of not being let out of my space and the fact that it took me 7 minutes to get that far.

I'm with Tinapopo. That is awesome. Good for you! I'm too nonconfrontational to do it too but it's exactly the type of thing I always wish I would have done.

You should have given her your url and told her to feel free to read about what a stupid bitch she is.

Lizzie, Oh my god. How great would that be if she does end up reading this somehow. That would be fantabulous!

That was freakin' hysterical and I can picture you doing it, too. We don't have QT's here. Maybe that's a good thing.

i'm glad you didn't get killed rit. that would cut down my blog reading time each day. that's not cool.

Holy hell. You have some juevos, chica! I would have been afraid she would gun me down if I got out of the car. That, and when I get really pissed - my eyes water so it just looks like I'm crying like a baby. People like you scare me! :)