Be careful what you ask for, because if you encourage Rit, she will usually deliver. I told you I'm clever! (What I'm hoping is that you all believe me)

1. How old were you when you found out Santa was not a jolly man, but your Mom and Dad?
WHAT!!!

2. Who was the first celebrity's poster you had hanging on your wall?
Michael J. Fox aka Alex P. Keaton. Yep, my first love was a crazy republican that I would kiss every night before I went to bed.

3. How many times have you heard the phrase, "Please step out of the car Ma' am/Sir."
Three times.

4. What is the lamest reason for breaking up with someone you have ever gave or received?
I told a guy I dated for several months that I decided to become celebate and I was so attracted to him that the temptation would be too great. I'm an asshole.

5. What is the dumbest lie you ever told your parents to get out of something?
Oh lord, this might be hard to choose! I was grounded and wanted to party with my friends, so I told my parents I was trying out for this play 45 minutes away from home and it would go all night. I instead went and partied with my friends. When I got to my car to go home, some bitches I pissed off had slashed two of my tires, one on each side. I called my parents and told them I ran into a curb and got two flat tires and some nice men were helping me. Bottom line, this didn't go well and HELLO, how can you run into a curb on each side of your car?!

6. Paper or Plastic?
Plastic. I don't care about the environment, I care about making one trip from my car to the kitchen no matter how much weight my little girl arms can carry. I am damn lazy!

7. What did you want to be when you grew up when you were little (under 10)?
Wonder woman! I am singing the theme song in my head.

8. What do you want to be when you grow up now?
As happy as I am today but with a job that requires little time behind a desk and no set hours.

9. What kind and color of underwear do you have on right now?
The little boy shorts kind, black.

10. What CD are you ashamed to admitt you own and listen to?
Celion Dion's greatest hits, yep I like to sing and cry to The Prayer and a little All by Myself in Spanish.

11. Who would you sleep with if you had the opportunity to?
Dave freakin' Matthews!!

12. Finish this sentence and say what movie this is from. The FBI is going to pay me to ______? (I know you will read this first, but if you didn't know don't lie.)
Keanu Reeves said "The FBI is going to pay me to Surf "and this was from Point Break. Hell yeah, fuckin awesome movie!

13. Are you a lame asshole who lied on the above question?
No

14. Why did you come to the blog that tagged you?
Well, I have to come to this blog because I write it and I wrote the questions, but honestly it's because I am witty and smart. Oh and beautiful. Ok, because I write it.

15. What is your biggest fear?
Drowning, not actual death, just the process of drowning. Ok, I think I am actually having an anxiety attack right now.

16. Do you watch reality television and why/why not?
Yes, yes, yes! Because I can't look away. As Danny Bonaduce says in the opening of his show "My life is a car crash and you have every right to stop and look at the car crash". This pretty much describes my addiction to reality shows.

17. Have you ever slept with someone and wondered why the hell you did that?
Yes, yes I have. Then I dated him for 6 months, and wondered why the hell I did that too.

18. What is your biggest regret?
Honestly, I do not regret anything I have done, only things I haven't. Wait, dating and sleeping with the guy from question 17.

19. How old where you and what happened the first time you got drunk?
14 and we drank purple passion. This was not a good thing because it tasted like grape soda and I drank a whole two liter myself. I was hanging out with some seniors from my highschool and felt oh so cool, until I puked purple and passed out. My friends wrote shit all over me in permanent marker...slut on your forehead is not good.

20. Which would you rather be, the hammer or the nail?
The nail, because I would hold shit together. Yes I would.

21. What is your favorite curse word?
Shitfuck. I like to combine curse words that normally don't go together. Like mothershiter or damnass.

22. If there was one thing you could ask your parents, but never had the guts, what would that be?
Did either of you have sex before you were married?

23. What are 3 things that make you go Hummm?
1. The warning on windex to not spray directly in your eye.
2. Customer service at Charter Cable.
3. My husband's allergy to cleaning dishes.

24. Real or fake boobies?
I sticking to real, I'm too afraid of the saliene leakage.

25. Do you like being tagged by people?
Yes, sort of. You feel loved, but then you have to think of shit.

I tag BabyJewels, LuLu, TinaPoPo (where ever you are), Mystery Girl, and Beepers.

THREE times!!! holy shit! lol. I don't feel bad about my one time now! Although the "based on the results of your road test I'm placing you under arrest..." will NEVER lose it's painful shudder... :)

Yea for tags!

I'm back...

I was never actually taken in. I'm super good at the backwards ABCs.

These questions are awesome. This is a tag I look forward to doing.

Your answers are hilarious.

Do they really make you do the backwards ABCs? Because I couldn't do them sober. I think if they asked me to do it drunk, I would probably start counting instead.

Only once. I wasn't driving, I was a drunken 16 year old passenger and they made me get out to do the field sobriety test. I passed everything and I think he was pissed off that I was doing well (I blew below the legal limit, but was messed up thanks to a friend named mary) so he made me do the backwards ABCs. I can only do them drunk.

he didn't make me say them backwards, but from D - N or something. I couldn't get past D. I was so freaked out. I couldn't even remember my social. This was last Halloween night. I was in a schoolgirl uniform. Yeah, it was pretty funny. A few days AFTER I got out of jail. hehe.

a school girl uniform in jail... your to cute to have survived that!

You know how to make up a sweet meme, babe.

In honor of our popo coming home, I can only say "HOT DAMN!"

Oh, and I'm taggin heather so don't any of you bits even consider it!

Wow, 3 x's - what's next. You gonna tell me you've got those little teardrop tat's under your eyes. Felon.

I thought it was "The FBI is going to pay me to blog. Darn it, wrong again

Hey, they just asked me to GET OUT of the car...they took me nowhere in handcuffs. I was only operating the vehicle once and I totally should have been arrested that time. That said, yes I have a tear drop tat under my eye.

love the list. i almost peed my pants when i read about Purple Passion. i totally remember that stuff from high school!

just got around to filling mine out - thanks!