I think I shall make this a regular part of my blog, since I have an arsenal of situations to pull from. I do dumb shit, enjoy!

I spent the better part of my highschool years in a perpectual state of groundation. I'd be free for a few months, and get busted again. It was what it was. Blame it on the Nuns, blame it on the plaid going to my brain, blame it on my ultra strict parents, or just me. Yep, just me.

So, one of the many times I was grounded I was hanging out in my room bored. Bored, bored, bored. I don't do well with bored, because then I start thinking. The thought came to me to start planning for the first day of school our Senior year. Yes, what horrible prank could we inflict upon the masses? Of course toliet paper would be involved. My friend Caryn and I had be stealing toliet paper from every gas station in town for the Teepee War of '94 (this will be for another post), and we had plenty left over. A plan was hatched that day that involved 20 people, teepee, 20 cans of shaving creme, signs that go in the ground, chains & a lock. The real story is in the execution.

D Day. I am off groundation, and we spend the day before school discussing the plan and drinking beer. Nothing better than lots of beer on a Sunday before the first day of school I'll tell you. The plan is for my boyfriend Dan and our friend Aaron to pick up my friend Claire and I from my house at 1:30 am. They are bringing the party bus, then we will pick up others and rendezvous at the park near school. (my private all-girl catholic school)

1:15 am -The only way to sneak out of my house is to climb out my bedroom window, walk around the roof to the back patio, slowly let yourself down and then your feet touch a shelf on the patio and you carefully climb down it. Easy, I've done it a thousand times. We do this, and as I am hanging from the roof, directly infront of our kitchen bay window, I see my mom. She has not yet seen me. I am drunk and freaking out. I try my best to whisper to my friend Claire to help pull me back up. What I probably said to her was "Mom, pull me up, Mom, she's here, pull me up." Finally Claire understood my "not again, I can't be grounded again" speak and helped me get up. We walk around to the front of my house and I go back in my window. I stand with my ear to the door to hear if my mom is hip to our game and coming to check on us. She is not.

We go back on the roof, and I'm suggesting we jump for it. We discuss and Claire has some input. Dan and Aaron pull up. Dan gets out and is looking at us curiously up there on the roof whispering and using large hand gestures. Claire thinks that jumping two stories from my roof is not a good idea. I call her a puss. I go the edge of the roof, it is kind of a high jump. Don't puss out Rit. (yep, my internal dialog) I jump. Uggrrrrrr! I heard a snap and felt some serious pain. Dan and Aaron come running over to me. I manage to stand up, my left leg is shaking uncontrollably. I look up at Claire and say "Come on, jump." She says in a high whisper, "Are you kidding me, I heard the noise you made, fuck that!" Dan is asking me why the hell I jumped off the roof. I explained my sound reasoning and ventured to guess that I had broken my foot. "No, shit!" was his response. All Aaron could do was laugh, which made me laugh. I can see on Dan's face he is questioning our relationship...this happened often in the 3 years we were together-but I'm cute and fun so what can you do. They get me to the van, and I start popping cold ones. This hurts like a bitch, and sweet budweiser will help in this pinch.

Somehow they get Claire out of my house. At this point I really don't care, I'm on a mission to get numb. We did a little pranking and went home. It was a bitch climbing the shelf to get up to the roof. We wake up and I wonder how I'm going to explain breaking my foot in my sleep. Huh, this does seem to pose a problem. 10 minutes later I'm laying at the bottom of the stairs with Claire at the top throwing my backpack down them. I scream and my mom comes running into the foyer. She looks at me, looks at Claire and doesn't seem to buy my writhing and crying while holding my leg yelling "I think I broke it, mom!"

It was a huge pain being on crutches for the first 6 weeks of school. It's hard to be drunk on crutches, mainly because my friends thought it was funny to steal them and watch me hop on one leg while trying not to spill my drink. This was dumb thing # 278.

omg that is hilarious! i can't believe you pretended that you fell down the freaking stairs!!!

you should make a sitcom out of this.

Just think, that was dumb thing #278.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!


Oh god! HAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!

SO funny!

Oh god, I think we could throw some pretty good stories back and forth