Not only is the above true, and a quote from one of my favorites-Monty Python, it was also a source of one of the many arguements that peppered Rit's Holiday/Family Tour of 2005 that lasted from Thursday-Saturday. (I have been crazed a work, so blogging will be minimal this week. Damn family and holidays, DAMN WORK!)

Thursday: Rit's family tradition was implemented to the surprise and hopefully the joy, of The Fiance. Off to my Aunt's for some eating. Somehow during hors'douvres (yeah, that's smart on thanksgiving) the subject of medicaid in my state of residence was brought up and her sister didn't seem to agree with what I was saying. Older people that don't live in my state, that aren't related to me, that don't know what the F they are talking about, shouldn't drink and scream at me. Especially when they have a creepy jeepy husband who has leered and taken every opportunity to hug me and my sister since I was 17. And Thanksgiving was off. I ate too much and needed my "thanksgiving pants" that I bring every year because I eat too much. Ahhh, life was good. Then our annual Family battle of the sexes game. Scene It! was the game of choice. It was heated. Girls kicked the boys asses in first game and the rematch. Suck that boys!! My sister got wasted which meant she drank 3 beers, my Grandma told us that when my Grandpa was my dad's age he had his first heart attack and died 5 years later so times a tickin' for my daddy (thanks again for that, MeMa!), creepy jeepy m*fer leered all night and said something about my sister being horny which prompted my 16 year old brother to freak out on him, my aunt & uncle's dog ate a pumpkin pie which is 1 less pie than he ate last year, my dad got drunk and kept trying to fit the work serpentine in every sentence, my mom rolled her eyes at my dad all night and reminded everyone that she will be driving home my drunken sister and dad, my brothers snuck beers all night, and Skywalker and I took home leftovers and ate them as soon as we got home. Another heartwarming holiday ended.

Friday-woke up and put in The Muppets w/ John Denver's christmas CD and blared it. It's christmas decorating time...whoo hooo!! Skywalker was less than thrilled by this "alarm" and wondered downstairs to gaze upon me singing along and putting the lights on the tree. Halfway through this, half of the lights go out. Damn it! We have to be on the road for my mother-in-laws by 11 am, so I head up to Target to return the lights. I am amazed at the traffic at 7:30 in the morning. Huh. I pull into Target,WHAT THE HELL! Why are all these people... son of a bitch it's the biggest shopping day of the year. GREAT! 1 hour later I get back in my car having only exchanged the lights. Yeah, this sucks, but "Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, ain't nothin' gonna slow me down. Oh no, I've got to keep on movin'" Yes, I sing that to myself to get myself back into a good mood. Long story short, I make 3 trips to Walgreens to get more stuff that we didn't have. We get on the road at 1 pm. I would love to tell you about my trip to the in-laws, but I can't. No one knows about this website other than my husband, but I can't risk it. My lawyer agrees. But it was funny, funny in a Jerry Springer type of way.

Saturday-My family comes over for Cincinnati Chili Day. My dad is from Cincinnati and it is a huge deal and an old family receipe. You can only get it if you graduate from college (this is a stipulation he made after my brother's grades from last semester). He spent 2 days cooking it and I spent all morning getting out my wedding gifts that I can use for entertaining. I was so damn excited. I lit all my candles and my votives, put out my china, and waited. My sister and the fiance shoed up first and my mom called to say that my brother ran out of gas and my dad had to go get him some. Oh and speaking of gas, she had me go buy some Beano. Trust me, we were happy with that purchase later on. They all show up and it was on. Skywalker and The Finace have never had the Chili and the verdict...Awesome by both. My dad can now offically like them. We decided that we needed to play Scene It! again because my brother's girlfriend didn't go to our Thanksgiving. The boys won this time and then we played couples. My brother and his girlfriend won. During the game a scene came up of A Fish Called Wanda and my dad went off on the movie along with Skywalker, my mom and I tell them they are stupid and it was a great movie! That's when Monty Python came up. I was sickened when my father and husband proclaimed that British humor is not funny. While we were arguing this, my brother's girfriend says "It smells like something is on fire?" We ignore her and keep arguing until flames shoot off of my coffee table. One of my ceramic Santa's is on fire! Yelling and cussing ensues and my husband runs out the door carrying Santa's firey christmas as my mom grabs a towel and tries to beat out the flames and I grab a glass of water and throw it on my husband completely missing the flaming Santa. No one died. The evening is winding down, and my dad goes to my restroom. "Uh, Rit? It looks like a crime scene in here!" I walk to my bathroom to see that the red candle I had on the shelf above the toliet had been dripping wax for awhile. It looked like a point blank shot to the head in there.

All in all, it was a fabulous time. I gained about 5 of the pounds I lost that I put on when I quit smoking. Wait that's not right...yes it is. We are now gearing up for my in-laws to come over next weekend for their christmas. They are all staying at our place. Apparently they have never heard of a hotel. It might be more than a flesh wound then...

Coconuts?! Yes, Monty Python is hilarious. Your dad and Skywalker don't know what they're talking about.

Between the ceramic Santas on fire and the bathroom candle crime scene, I think I've hit my laughing quota for the day. Many thanks. ;)

I think some British humor is good (Monty Python, The Office). Some is just bad.

You just have the best familly. No wonder you got a fab sense of humor. Glad you had a great holiday weekend.

British humour is great! If you have an iPod (or even if you don't) get iTunes and subscribe (for free) to the podcast, "Comedy 365." It is all British humour and it is dry, but hilarious. Did you know that the British say that Americans are "irony deficient." I think that's hilarious because much of their humour is dry and ironic, and we usually don't get it. Unless there is a fart, or some kind of person falling down, or swearing, we don't get it.

Did you just fart?

It is official, everyone thinks Monty Python is funny. The boys lose again.

Heather-Sadly, this is not my first time hosting or that something spontaniously combusted.

More funny stuff happened in your weekend than in the last 7 years of my life.

That has to be the funniest account of Thanksgiving I've ever heard! And shame on them for not liking British comedy! Monty Python, Mr. Bean, Hugh Grant (wait is he supposed to be funny?) I love the Brits and their quirky ways!! Can't wait to hear how Christmas goes!