Thank you Karla for this ingenius idea. She is one of my favorites!! Who gives a rats ass about good things about me? When Karla said to look deep within myself, I did. She's right, what is there is bad.

Half the folks in Blogland have a 100 Things list, in which they detail 100 miscellaneous facts about themselves, usually along the lines of "I love to cook," and "I'm a Scorpio." I looked deep inside me, and found there's just not much there. What is there is bad. Therefore, I give you my list of 100 Things Wrong With Me. To cut down on the odds that you'll fall asleep reading it, I've broken it up into parts. (from Karla, she is brilliant)

41-50

41. When someone uses really big words to sound smart, I just make up words while I'm talking. When they nod and respond to my point and make no mention of the nonsense I have just spoken, I secretly hate their pretencious ass. Since I'm not good at keeping secrets, I continue to make up words and make them more and more outragous. If they continue to be ignorant of my made up words, I ask them what a particular made up word means. I have actually had someone give me a definition. "Really, it means that, cause I just made that word up."

42. I hate it when men wear jean shorts. I don't know why, I just do. I will then think bad things about the jean short wearer. If my husband wore some jean shorts, I would have to think about staying with him.

43. I don't like listening to voice mail messages. I see I have X amount of messages. If my phone was on, I just look at my missed calls and call you back. Sometimes I have 20 messages from 5 days. If my phone was turned off then I have to listen to the damn messages. "Hey Rit, It's mom" erase, "Hey Rit, It's Maryanne I..." erase, "Hey Rit, It's Stacy..." erase. Then I call mom and the conversation always goes like this:
Rit: Hey, what's up lady who birthed me?
Mom: Hey, so what do you think.
Rit: About what?
Mom: You got my message, right?
Rit: Oh, I heard it was you and erased it.
Mom: Why do I even leave a message.
Rit: I don't know, I always erase them.
Then, I always forget to call one person back. Stacy was the most recent. She left a message that she was pregnant and I erased it. Then I got pissed at her for not telling me before I heard it through the grapevine. This doesn't change anything I still won't listen to my voice mail. I just turned my phone on and erased 4 messages just for the hell of it.

44. I don't like going to the bathroom. I really feel that it cuts into my fun living time. My mom says all little kids do that. They run inside from playing and about piss themselves because they didn't want to stop having fun. My mom also says that most people outgrow this, but not me. I will be shopping in the mall and wait until I have to go so bad that I have to walk a few feet and stop walk a few feet stop, so I don't pee my pants. I will hold it so long on road trips that I have had to pee on the side of the road more times than I wish to say. My pal Tim thought it was funny to joke about quiting peeing, I really wish I could.

45. I am ridiculously supersticious. I knock on wood, throw salt over my shoulder, if I am sitting in a particular seat wearing a certain shirt when the cardinals win I will go wherever I was and wear the same shirt the next game. I get this from my mom who believes that the Cards lost the playoffs because my grandma watched the last game wearing a different red shirt. Can you believe that? She wore a different shirt! Grandma's getting coal for Christmas. If you say, yeah you are totally going to get that job...and then don't. You have jinxed this. I blame you and will tell you of your mistake. My sister went to school in "tornado alley" Tulsa for 4 years and not one tornado blew. We were all flying up to watch the girl graduate and Luke said, "Hey 4 years and no tornado!" My mom and I both yelled "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He looked at my Dad like "What?"and my dad just shook his head. Low and behold a tornado forced us into the hotel basement later that evening. We blame him.

46. I never remember people's names, ever. I can remember faces I have seen for only 10 seconds 15 years ago, but I have no idea what the hell you name is. If your name is Becky, I say Ann. Jack, I say Peter. When you come up to me and say "Hey Rit, how are you doing." and you and I have been playing soccer together for a whole session, I say "Heeeyyyy, how are you doing...buddy!" Then when you say "You don't know my name do you." I say "No, I have no idea what your name is." I'm not even smart enough to be ashamed of my extreme self centeredness. If Luke and I are at a party and I don't know a person's name, I will not introduce them. Luke knows that this means I have no idea what this person's name is and he will introduce himself. At this point I am suppose to listen and remember the name. I don't.

47. I always ask my husband if I look fat in whatever outfit I am feeling fat in. I know he is not dumb enough to say yes if I do indeed look fat in the outfit, but I can't help but ask. Then after he says, No! accompanied by his horrified 'are you crazy you are like Cindy Crawford hot' look, I tell him that I can take it if he thinks that, I really just want to know. We go back and forth until it finally sinks in that his answer will never change. I then change 5 times and end up back in the "fat" outfit and we leave.

48. Evertime a friend of mine breaks up with a girlfriend they have that I did not like, I tell them how much I hated her. Oh, yes. I tell them all the things I don't like about them and how glad I am that they are not together anymore. They always get back with the girlfriend and then the guy sings like a canary. "Yes, you were right. Rit doesn't like you." After that the girl will glare at me because my little sissy-boy friend told his Bossy McBitch that I said she was a horrible girlfriend and I was glad they broke up. Every time I get ready to open my mouth a little voice tells me to wait until it has been longer that 30 minutes, because they will get back together. If I would listen to that damn voice my life would be so much easier.

49. I don't like buying cards for people. I would rather take the 2.95 that I will spend on the card and buy you gum or something. At showers when they oohh and awe over the cute card, I have to stay on the ball because when my present comes up I have to say "That's from me!" or they will be searching for a cute card that is not in the gift bad. I love the To: From: tags you can put on gifts. Greeting Card companies are the devil.

50. When I am watching an action movie and some guy jumps from a moving airplane without a parachute and he lands on a moving car with not a stratch, I can't help but point how how that could never really happen. By an hour into a movie, Skywalker is ready to kill me as I have pointed out that that bullet would too have peirced his heart and killed him, but that in the script it may have seemed probable to the writers and that once they shot the scene and saw what I just saw they should have rewrote it. I firmly believe that I also could kick almost every action hero"s ass and I constantly yell at the screen "Oh, you wuss. I could totally take you on you GIRL!" "They can pump some iron, but they have no heart!" I believe it is at these moments that Luke questions his sanity for marrying me.

Just in case you missed all the other things that are wrong with me:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

I will be in meetings all tomorrow so see you on thursday for some half nekked fun!

These are hilarious. I don't listen to voice mails either-- just erase and call back...

I also hate jean shorts. So much. Soooooo much.

Ah, a fellow Jean short hater. You and I should talk.

I have those exact conversations with my mother, where she calls and leaves a message and I call back, having seen the missed call and she gets angry that I haven't listened to the message. I refuse to do so. ever.

Why waste my time when the person is bound to tell me what they left on the message again anyway.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I once threatened to break up with my boyfriend if he wore the jean shorts he alleged to own...

i don't do names either. a psychiatrist teaching a class told me a few years ago that its because I am a creative express personality, and those type of people, especially to my extreme, don't do well with names.

I tried for a long, long time and never remembered names.

Now, I just don't try, and have a great medically proven excuse. feel free to use it.

Oh, I hate buying cards too. Now that I have a kid, I always have him make a card for the person. It goes over big and I like you said, you don't spend a couple bucks for nothing. I also try and recycle all the gift bags and tissue that I get for my next gift giving occassion. I hate when I don't plan it out and end up spending $7 for a gift bag, tissue and card five minutes before the event. Such a waste of money.

Me too with voice mails. I just check my caller id and call back whoever called.

Do you think you could take on Luke Skywalker?

with you on the jean shorts. except i think no one should wear them. ever. for any reason. not even if you are in wham or a country music singer. not ever.

i love the tornado story.

i have to disagree on the greeting card thing. i love getting cards in the mail out of the blue. i guess it's different though b/c i love getting mail period. but a greeting card for a present that you're handing someone? no, that's just dumb. i recycle all gift bags and tissue paper too.

Yes Tim, I could totally beat up Luke Skywalker. (the movie guy, not my strong, handsome husband)

i found this quiz for you, although you already know the result of the quiz will be a big fat YES. but it'll be funny to see how you answer the questions.

http://encarta.msn.com/quiz_18/Are_You_Superstitious.html