Popo said we have some Grey's Anatomy to discuss, and to that I say Hell to the Motha F*ing Yeah! If you don't watch it, just pretend I'm still working really hard and didn't post today.

I have decided I hate Meredith. Yep. It started a few weeks back, got stronger with the whole hand in the guy's inside touching the bomb, and now she has hurt George. Damn you to hell! When we finally got to see what happened during the sex they had I wanted to find George and have none crying sex with him. Well, wait I'm married. So I would bring my friend Maryanne and she would have hot, no crying, and definately not say "You are almost done, right? sex with him. Sheesh!

Now she and Dr. McDreamy are going to be friends? What asshats! This isn't going to turn out bad or anything. Nope, not bad at all.

Addison brought a whole new meaning to the term "fire crotch". For some reason I don't hate her now. Which adds in the whole hating Meredith when she and McDreamy end up having sex and ruining this marriage. She is about to make herself the bad guy. I can't wait!

Luke and I joined a soccer league and the games are on Sunday. This will not due, so I am getting Tivo.

Discuss!

I'm starting to have blog withdrawal. I am muttering "hobo hooker" and "anywho" to myself while trying to get all this work done. I laugh at nothing, it is the witty shit I imagine you all are blogging about in my head.

Luke and I are going out of town this weekend with some friends. Well, some of them are friends and others are people we will try to avoid all weekend. It should be a much needed break from all the working.

I know you all miss me terribly, and I miss you too. Damn work! Anywho, here is Sharon stone pulling a Basic Instint. I thought this might make up for my absence. No? For a close up go here. You know you want to.


Ok, photoshop mirrors the movies. (source)

Thanks BabyJewels. This is fun.

Happy anniversary on Sunday to Me! Happy anniversary on Sunday to Me! Happy anniversary on Sunday to Me-hee, happy anniversary on Sunday to Meeeeeeeee! and Luke too!

Now it is time for me to subject you to some of my wedding pictures. Hey, it's my blog and I'll do what I want to.

I can't believe it has been a year (on Sunday) since my sissy wrote this on a board in the room we were getting ready in at the church.



This picture was taken of me 10 seconds before I realised that I left my vail at my parents house. Thank god they live 2 minutes from the church.




Here are the guys and my dad. The boys were late to the church because the groomsmen all the way to the right of the picture ran out of gas. If I didn't love James, I'd have killed him. Killed him dead.



Here Luke is waiting for me to walk down the aisle. He looks kind of freaked out.



Here I am! I am trying not to cry, I was so damn happy. I must really like that bald headed guy who is looking at me from down the aisle.




This picture always freaks me out. That cross right above our heads...sheesh. It may be because I had a sex education class in the eight grade in that church and the cross above my newly married head makes me think of sex and Jesus. Yeah, send your kids to catholic school their whole lives and they will have scars. Also by this time we are sick of the photographer of asking us to kiss.



Here is me wit my bitches. My sister Lolo is on the right side. Skinny little biotch. Her bridesmaid dresses are going to be kelly green, so I told her that if we put our wedding pictures next to each others it will always be christmas.



Peek a boo, I see you!



This is not my favorite picture of us dancing. Actually not many of these pictures are my favorties. I had to get these of the photographer's website because I don't have a scaner.



I even sang to him. I used to sing and a few months after we were going out Luke found that out. He asked me to sing for him and I said jokingly "I will at the reception if we ever get married." thinking that we were around 20 years old so there was no way I marrying this guy. He remembered and I paid up.



This day was the most fun I have had ever. I still can't believe that I am as blessed as I am to have this man as my husband. My sister's speech made me laugh and cry, but seriously how awesome is a toast that mentions that when you were kids you did a play about Amy Fischer and had your 3 year old brother play Joey Buttafucco. Can't top that. Or that the best man who made whole room tear up and laugh. It was a wonderful day and I hope I can always remember it.

In the words of TinaPopo, "Happy anniversary Rit, from yourself!" Now I'm going to go get some Starbucks.



UPDATE: A few more photos

Life & Style has learned exclusively that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have agreed to call off their wedding — and, ultimately, to split.

Multiple insiders confirmed the story to Life & Style, with one longtime friend of Tom’s saying: “Their relationship is basically over.” Another friend adds: “They both agreed that the marriage wouldn’t work and they wanted to end it before they learned to hate each other.”

The insiders say that Tom, 43, and Katie, 27, plan to keep up the charade of a romance until after their baby’s birth this spring. In the meantime, the couple will live in his Beverly Hills home — though sleeping in separate bedrooms — through the summer. Then, presumably, they’ll announce a separation — but Tom plans to buy Katie a home nearby so he can visit his child whenever he wishes.

“They’ll share custody,” says the friend, who claims the couple are drawing up a legal document to provide for Katie’s and the baby’s financial well-being for life. “Tom will set up Katie and the baby,” adds the pal.

Life & Style

Can it be? Is our Joey Potter back? It is nice to see that they are still clinging to this baby business. If you lie you really should stick with it. I learned that lesson in highschool and it involved beer, a roof, and a broken leg. Nuff said.

Dear Celebrity Break Up God,

With all the celebrity break ups, for the love of you let this be true. If it is not, can we trade Nick and Jessica or even The Hoff and Mrs. Hoff? How about that chick who played Jane on Melrose Place and her husband? Sorry, you are right. That wouldn't be even. I understand that there must be a balance to these things. Anywho, this is creeping me out. I miss the old Katie Holmes.

Love,

Rit

Yippee! I have made each one of you a Valentine. Yes, I have. But since the restraining orders I can't exactly deliver them. So here is one for all of you.





And anyone else that is not named. I love you all. I will love you more if you give me things. So far Luke is winning with two pairs of earings and a hand made card.

Hello all! I'm busy, and this is not fun. I miss blogging, I miss it bad.

A few quick things.

#1 thank you Tim for wishing me a happy anniversary...a week early. It is Feb 19th. You will know because I will post pictures of myself looking fabulous while wishing myself a happy anniversary. And showing you all how modest I am.

#2 I have lost 11.6 pounds in my "Lose the Weight You Put on When You Quit Smoking So You Can Get Pregnant and Gain it Right Back" quest. Only 13.4 pounds to go until I make my husband knock me up. Yippee!!

#3 Valentines day is tomorrow. I really could care less. I am making Luke a homemade V-Day card a la grade school. I am thinking about creating a valentine box and sitting it on my desk and seeing how many cards I get.

#4 Tom Cruise is an idiot. First he says he has "tucked Katie away so no one can get to her" now he gets all mission impossible at a Kanye West concert. I have no words left for this asshat.

#5 I still can't believe Britney drove around with Sean Preston on her lap.

#6 I love The Office. Last thursday's episode was priceless. I'm just sayin'.

#7 I woke up this morning and everything tastes like I put a pile of salt on it. Even my water. Web MD says if I pursists more than a day to go to the Dr. It's not a tu-ma!

#8 I hate Billy Blanks ASS!!! His Tae Bo Billy Bootcamp almost killed me. Luke said he didn't know if I was giving birth or having sex with someone name Billy since I was screaming "F*ck You, Billy Blanks! You are F*cking Me!" grunt, groan, scream. But I feel the burn, and yes Billy every day above ground is a blessed day you strong healthy man.

#9 Did you hear that Dick Cheney shot his friend while they were hunting this weekend? Ha, ha! That is the best thing I have heard all week. Oh shut up, you laughed too. The guy isn't dead or anything.

That sums up my night last Friday. My sister Lauren (Lolo or Lo is what I have called her for years, so Laguna's Lo can kiss it) and I love us some sushi. Love it! My mom on the other hand is not a fan. Not that she has ever even tried it, but she says she knows she will hate it. Whatever. So I meet up with Lo over at the rents house. We sit with my mom talking wedding stuff for about an hour when I go change into going out clothes. I come back in and sit down for more wedding talk. Then my mom says "So, you are going for sushi?" We both sense that she wants to hang out with us. The only reason that we didn't invite her was because she said she hates sushi. We love hanging out with her, she is good times. So we spend the next 5 minutes telling her to come and then looking for a sushi place that also serves cooked dishes that look nothing like sushi.

Then my dad comes home from work. He is on a super health kick. He is working out and watching what he eats. He walks in the door and says to me "Weren't you already here once this week eating my food?" My mom informs him that we are all going out to eat and asks if he wants to come. He decides not to. Then he walks to the fridge and gets out a yogurt and says "Did you know that yogurt helps you lose weight?" me "really. I did not know that." My dad goes and reachs in the liquior cabinet "Yeah and red wine is good for you too. I going to have some tonight as a treat." This must be tough for my beer loving father. Me "Yeah, mom told me you lost some weight. Looking good pops. Is this what is referred to as a mid-life crisis?" Dad "What is Luke doing tonight? Loving his break from your smart ass?" While we are waiting for my mom to get dressed I watch my dad eat 3 yogurts. I look at my sister and we start cracking up. My dad walks to his bedroom and returns in workout gear "I'm going on the treadmill. Have fun eating sushi." We are off.

Sushi was good. We decide to go see Walk the Line, but the showing was too late and so we went to Blockbuster. We can't agree on anything when genuis strikes. My mom and sister are both fans of The Office and my aunt gave my brother The 40 Year Old Virgin for christmas. I ask if they had watched it yet and this is the response I got. Lo's eyes get big and she looks at me with the shut up look. Damn it, I forgot. My mom says "No I have not seen it. I hid it from your brother. That is the most inappropriate gift to give a 16 year old. Don't you think. Shit!" I forgot, damn it. My mom is awesome. She has a great sense of humor and we have a blast, but I'm 28 and it wasn't always like that. She is a wonderful parent who believes in instilling values in her children. She was pissed that my drunk aunt bought this for my brother. And you know what, I don't blame her one bit. I flash back to christmas:

We give out presents oldest to youngest. My brother opens his gift from my aunt who's stint in rehab obviously worked like a charm as she is f*ing trashed. Even my brother know this is f*ed up as he opens the gift and says weakly "Oh, it's the 40 year old virgin." My uncle (who married this woman, thus inflicking her upon us) stares in horror. My mom says "What? The 40 year old virgin?" Then a voice says "Are there condoms in there too. There should be!" I am sitting next to my mom and she believes my sister said this. Mom "WHAT! Who said that! Lauren, what in the hell is wrong with you." I lean over and whisper "Mom, it was drunk aunt." My mom glares at my aunt and uncle "You are messed up."

So now I'm back in Blockbuster. Shit. She may not be able to enjoy this movie knowing it was a gift for my brother. When she and I when to see Good Will Hunting and the sex scene came on she covered my eyes and I think I was like 21 or something. So I ask "Will you be able to just chill out and enjoy this movie? It is really funny and it is with Michael from The Office?" My mom with her jaw clenched "Yes, I will try. Is it really bad?" Me "No, it's not that bad."

We open the door to the house and my dad is passed out on the couch with the wine bottle on the table. He jumps up "What? Who's there? mumble mumble" This was my Dad's first lesson that you can't drink the equivilent liquid of 2 beers in red wine. You will be drunk. 3 yogurt cartons are on the coffee table as well. Healthy living at it's finest.

My mom lasts 20 minutes in to the movie when she says "This is terrible, I can't believe that woman bought this for your brother!" And leaves. Lo and I watch and laugh our asses off! It was a good friday.

DCFS does want to talk to her. Um, and she doesn't look scared in this picture she looks like she is chilling and thinking of cheetos.

This afternoon, Deputy Sheriff Mark Winn went to the Spears home. The official told TMZ Winn made the trip to get contact information for DCFS, so that DCFS "could do their thing." Britney's rep told TMZ Winn spoke with security - not Spears herself.
As we first reported, DCFS contacted the LA County Sheriff's Department earlier today, inquiring about the incident. TMZ contacted a DCFS official who would not comment on the matter.

Britney issued a statement saying, "I was terrified that this time the physically aggressive paparazzi would put both me and my baby in danger." She added, "I instinctively took measures to get my baby and me out of harm's way..."

The TV show 'EXTRA' has obtained the following statement from X17, the company that took the picture: "These pictures were taken in a very peaceful context, in which photographers exhibited no aggressive behavior. We believe the pictures speak for themselves."
[source]

Britney, for the love of all things holy please... Whatever, she's a dumb ass and beyond hope.

Good morning after the Super Bowl people. My head still hurts. Not because I drank anything stronger than a diet coke, but because I watched the game with the "Super Bowl Party" friends. This consists of 8 guys going ape shit for 50 freaking hours of a really long game with totally shitty commericals. What happened to the good commericals during the Super Bowl? Seriously? Tom and I have decided it is partly Kurt Warner's fault. Did you see his "You are going to hell" commercial? Well, good thing he has Jesus' phone number and gave it to all of us so we don't burn in the firey pits of hell from all our sinning. I sin alot. So I better call Jesus.

I only got hit in the head with the nerf ball 4 times this year, so I consider it quite successful. We had a new addition to the "party players". First I should say that Karen and I are the only girls who have made up this "party" for 4 years. Each man has the team they religiously back. Luke=The Bears. Tom=Tampa Bay. Todd=Seattle. Chuck=The Rams. Mike=The Steelers. Obviously this year pitted Todd against Mike. It was ruff. And loud. Mike brought his new girlfriend. When he about had his first coronary and his string of Cock*ucking Mother*uckering Ass*uck! F*ggots! What in the sh*tass mother*ucker are you doing! She looked at him in shock and said and I quote "It's only a game!" The room fell silent, every male looking at her, Karen and I both shaking our heads and she says "Come on, it is. It's only a game. What is your problem?" I try. I'm working really hard. But it happens. I get the church giggles and say in between each giggle "It was nice to meet you, but I don't think I will see you again." Karen bursts into laughter. Mike stares at me with this look of help me and says to the soon to be ex "We each have been following a team for years. (Here he names off each guys team) This year I'm in the Super Bowl. Get it." She actually says "Come on, YOU aren't in the Super Bowl. Some team is." My mouth drops open, all the guys stare. Mike says "Some team. Some team!" turns to me and says "Can you explain this to her?" I try "Doesn't you dad or brothers or uncles watch sports?" She says "No, not really." I stare mouth agape. I turn to Mike "I can't help. She may just be beyond help." Luke looks at me from across the room and says "I didn't know it was possible to love you anymore than I did yesterday, but I do at this moment." Tom says to Karen "What he said."

I don't think I will see that girl again. And honestly, I don't want to.

I found myself saying those words while bawling last night. You see, we were watching Smallville. I still can't believe it made me cry, I mean it's not Steel Magnolias or anything. Bo Duke died in last week's episode. Um, I mean Clark's father Jonathon Kent. Luke and I have been watching Smallville since it started. Last night's episode Clark deals with the loss of his father. His mother Martha gets mugged in Metropolis and his father's watch is stolen. A bunch of stuff happens, but Clark comes home to find his watch sitting on a table. His love Lana went to pawn shops and found it. They have a wonderful conversation about loss, that is so damn truthful. Lana, having lost both of her parents says "No matter how many people are there for you, you end up walking through this alone." Clark puts on his father's watch and walks in to see his mom watching a video of he and his dad when he was little. His mom turns around to see Clark and sees the watch. Clark starts crying and they hug. I had been fighting the tears because I knew what I was going to see when I looked at my husband. I look over to see him rubbing his watch. His father's watch. I burst into tears and yelled "I hate Smallville! I hate it! Stupid Smallville." Luke looked over and smiled at me. "I know you do, babe." Then I excitely changed the channel to watch My Name is Earl and The Office and said "Thank god for Earl and The Office!" Luke said "Yeah, nothing cheers me up more than white trash and Michael. Maybe someone will leave another package in his office."

God bless you The Office, for making male bonding turn into the wharehouse trying to unionise. And allowing Michael to operate heavy machinery. I love you!

My new reality TV addiction is Project Runway. Luke is not pleased. He hates it. So every Wednesday I have to watch the 2nd showing from 10-11. This Monday I went to the parents house to use the tread mill in their gym and I ate dinner with my family. I have started calling them my old family because my dad likes to remind me that I have a new family and I should go eat with him. When he was out of town last week I ate a can of his chili and someone ratted on me, so this week he was especially "pissed". Dad "Did you eat my chili?" Me "What? I know nothing of this chili of which you speak." I stare my mom down. "Did you eat a can of Skyline chili!?" My dad is from Cinncinatti. Skyline chili is sacred. He buys like 5,000 cans whenever he goes there. I would NEVER eat a can of that chili. Me "Are you kidding me? It was Chili Man." Dad "So you did eat a can of MY chili." Me "Shit!" Dad "After all I've done for you, and you lie to me? Nice. You are out of the will." It's his way of telling me he loves me.

So we eat and are watching TV when a commercial for Project Runway comes on. Mom "I hate that show." Me "Are you kidding me? It's totally awesome!" My sister Lolo, "I know! Dad and I watch it every week." Me "What? Who? The man who fathered you and me? OUR Dad?" My dad is the biggest mans man you will ever meet. When I dressed my little brother in a dress when he was 1 my dad grounded me for 2 weeks and lost his mind. My brother was a good dancer and he wouldn't let him take dance lessons. One of my gay friends has an amazing voice he sings at their church. My dad says "I'll tell you something. When that fairy sings Be Not Afraid, it brings tears to my eyes. (He says shit like that for the shock factor, he loves my friend) He follows and watches ever sport there is. My husband loves him. He loves my husband. They are men.
Lolo "Yeah, he loves it." As fate would have it, my dad walks out of his bedroom. Me "Hey dad, I hear you like Project Runway?" Dad "Let me tell you one thing. Gays are funny."

I told Luke my dad watches it. He didn't believe me. At 9:05 last night I had him call my parents house and talk to my dad. My dad asked him if he could call him back because he was watching TV and I quote "Have you seen the show Project Runway Luke?" Luke "No" Dad "Gays are funny. And damn creative. They are making dresses out of flowers! Watch it." Luke hung up the phone with a confused look on his face.

Guess what we watched last night...


image from Pink is the New Blog

No, no. He didn't instill world peace or make me patient in traffic. He let this little video be seen by me last night. Watch here as Starr Jones takes one in the face. And you know it isn't from Al. Cause Luke said he was all Brokeback Mountain.


[source]

Well, here it is. My interview with my husband. Oh, I know US is pronounced us not U.S., but that is what Luke calls it.




Here he is thanking god he married me. He is damn it!

When I was a kid, spelling wednesday was quite the task. I still say wed-nez-day when I'm spelling it. Whoever made up spelling our language I would like to punch in the kidney's.

My audio post will be coming soon. I promise. This week it will happen damn it!